Girl: This snuggie smells like formaldehyde!

Chicago, IL

Coworker #1: Doesn't it feel really good to bang out a quick one?
Coworker #2, deadpan: Yes. Yes it does.

Detroit, MI

"if she's not twitching, you're not eating it right, bro."

2261 Grant Ave
Ogden, UT

"the only thing worse than flying coach is an above ground pool." – my boss talking with a coworker while looking at facebook photos.

89 5th Avenue, NYC

Overheard by: Carly

Boss (to young painter): "why do you always have to get in my face when you talk to me? You wanna kiss me? Don't you realize I could gesture wildly and unknowingly knock you unconscious?"

Tell City, Indiana

<b>customer service rep, walking to the bathroom:</b> are you going where I'm going?
<b>vp:</b> you wish.

Fort Mill, SC

Office worker, on phone: "hello. I'm calling to let you know that I'm divorced. Bye." (hangs up).

47th & 6th, NYC

Overheard by: Akter11

<b>customer service rep:</b> you are the dumbest motherfucker I have ever had the displeasure of having sexual relations with!

Fort Mill, SC

<b>controller:</b> I'll buy drinks if you're willing to swing by the gas station on the way back. Just so we don't have to drink city water with our delicious food.
<b>vp:</b> our water is filtered.
<b>controller:</b> fine whatever I don't care I hate you!

Fort Mill, SC

Nurse #1: Don't forget to stop by the conference room and get some pedophiles!
Nurse #2: That's petits fours!

Nursing Home, SC