Archive for the ‘Financial Folk’ Category

Hell, Make That Dimes!

Accounts manager (shouting): This is our biggest sales event of the year! This is going to be bigger than ever! Big! Big! Big!
Accounts clerk: Does that mean I should get an extra roll of nickels at the bank?

Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

10AM Department Meeting

Boss: This is not an interactive meeting, so no feedback of any kind. Every customer who gives a commitment today will get a $350 Home Depot giftcard. This is only until the end of business today.
Loan Officer: But I got a customer commitment yesterday. Can I tell her that we will send her one?
Boss: Didn’t I just say that this meeting is not interactive? I won’t answer your stupid questions.
Loan Office: …So what’s the answer?

The boss storms out.

Loan Officer: I’ll just ask him later.

2700 Westchester Avenue
Purchase, New York

Dude, Go for the Implants

Income auditor guy: I want to buy my fiance a gift like make-up.
Income auditor gal: Cool, how much you set for it?
Income auditor guy: 30 Egyptian pounds.
Income auditor gal: You could buy a blusher with 30 EGP.
Income auditor guy: Well then, how about cheap make-up?
Income auditor gal: You can’t buy anything with 30 EGP.
Income auditor guy: Well how much do you think I need?
Income auditor gal: About 500 EGP to buy her one of those cute boxes that’s full of make-up and perfumes.
Income auditor guy: With 500 EGP, I could send her to a plastic surgeon and get change.

Translated from the Arabic.

Le Meridien Makadi Bay Hotel
South Hurghada, Egypt

3PM Smoke Break

Accounts Payable: I wish sometimes I was tippin’ it at my desk.
Accounts Receivable: Tippin’ what?
Accounts Payable: You know, the bottle.
Accounts Payable: Yeah, but you gotta be a good alcoholic, and at least show up for work every day. That’s what I do.

2000 Plainfield Pike
Cranston, Rhode Island