Project manager: I mean, it’s really not even a bender unless it’s affecting your performance at work, now is it?
1620 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Archive for the ‘Words’ Category
12PM Proof Copy
Liaison: I need you to look at this with your anal eye.
12447 SW 69th Avenue
Portland, Oregon
In Hindsight, It’s Easy to See Where Things Started to Unravel
Event planner: Don’t you think we should have background music?
Manager: That would be too expensive.
Event planner: What about just one person playing a harp?
Manager: Do you know someone?
Event planner: Yeah. I know a harpoonist.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Tim
3PM Research Issue
Proofreader #1: Is this a word?
Proofreader #2: No.
Proofreader #1: Then what is it?
140 East 45th Street
New York, New York
I Wondered Why We Kept Receiving Nipple Clamps for the Toys for Tots Drive
Worker #1: Ohmigod! I was typing a letter and I was typing really fast and instead of typing “tots” I typed “tits”!
Worker #2, underwhelmed: Really? That’s funny.
Worker #1: No, really!! I typed “tits,” like t‑i-t‑s, at least I think that’s how you spell it.
Jefferson City, Missouri
2PM Get ATM Fixed
Repairman on phone: Sometimes they bust out and you’ve got to give them oral…
1200 West Main Street
Tomball, Texas
Overheard by: Sarah Lashley
2PM Monitor Calls
Customer: Can you put directions for the delivery man on the label?
CSR: Sure.
Customer: Tell him to give it to me through the back door.
CSR: The back door?
Customer: Yeah.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
My Hard Drive’s Been Zionized
Bored tech guy: Can I help you?
Bimbette: Yeah, um, I need an update on my anti-Semitic virus program.
Bored tech guy: You mean ‘Symantec’?
Bimbette: Yeah, that’s what I said — anti-Semitic.
Quinnipiac University
Hamden, Connecticut
Fool! The Customer Is Always Right!
Customer: Hello, Phyllis, how are you today?
Worker: I’m not Phyllis, I’m Kay.
Customer: Your name tag says Phyllis.
Worker: No, it doesn’t. It says Kay, see? P‑H-Y… oops!… wrong name tag.
Westmoreland Mall
Greensburg, Pennsylvania
An SOW, an RFP, and Thou Beside Me in the Shipyard
Supervisor to contractor: What can I do to turn you on?
Shipyard
San Diego, California
Overheard by: sarah
