Perhaps a Stern Talking-to from an Attractive Young Police Officer

Front manager: I wanna go out on the town and cause trouble tonight. Not to the point of getting arrested, but… really close.

Newton, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Tom

Posted on April 14, 2023
Bosses, Crimes, Massachusetts, Wishes

Can We Write Up a Work Order?

Agent, about client: She is just as nice as pie! I swear, she should get pregnant more often.

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on April 9, 2023
Employees, Massachusetts, Sexuality, Wishes

The World Would Be Much Poorer Without Canadia

Male cubicle dweller #1: Tell you what, if you grow your hair shoulder-length, I'll braid it for you.
Male cubicle dweller #2: Deal!
Male cubicle dweller #1: Do you want me to sign a post-it or something… like a contract?
Male cubicle dweller #2: No, I trust you.

Laurier
Ottawa
Canadia

Overheard by: They had no idea I was here

Posted on March 30, 2023
Body Parts, Canadia, Coworkers, Physical Appearance, Wishes

Both Equally Likely During Our Staff Meetings

Colleague #1: I wish it had been killer badgers.
Colleague #2: It's always badgers with you, isn't it? Badgers, or sex.

Digbeth
Birmingham
England

Overheard by: editorialgirl

Posted on March 22, 2023
Animals, Coworkers, England, Sexuality, Violence, Wishes

While I Was Sleeping

Blonde female manager, about dried hydrangeas: I wish I had nice ones like that. I'm still so mad that my husband trimmed my bush!

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Posted on February 28, 2023
Anger management, Body Parts, Bosses, Michigan, Wishes

5PM That’s a Wrap

Attorney: This work shit has got to stop. It’s really bringing me down.

301 Merritt Seven
Norwalk, Connecticut

Posted on January 28, 2023
Connecticut, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Lawyers, Legal, New England, Wishes

…As My “I Might As Well Be Pooping” Bumper Sticker Clearly States.

Sales rep #1: I wish we had cordless phones.
Sales rep #2: Why?
Sales rep #1: Well, if I'm going to be on hold, I might as well be pooping or something.

Fort Mill, South Carolina

Posted on December 8, 2022
On the phone, Sales, South Carolina, Technology, Weirdness, Wishes

The Highest Aspiration in Norristown

Young attorney #1: I look like an old woman in this coat.
Young attorney #2: Maybe a slutty old woman.
Young attorney #1: I wish I was a slutty old woman.

Norristown, Pennsylvania

Posted on December 4, 2022
Clothes, Lawyers, Pennsylvania, Physical Appearance, Sexuality, Wishes

I Find Birth Control Is the Best Mood Elevator

Office secretary: Beth* keeps me entertained.
Beth*: Yep, just give me a pill!

Pineville, Louisiana

Posted on November 30, 2022
Coworkers, Employees, Louisiana, Offers and requests, Places, Substance Use & Abuse, Wishes

Drive-Thru Duty at the Bangalore Call Center Is Lonely Work

Delivery lady, on phone: Okay, what can I get for you?
Customer on the other end: I’d like a medium pepperoni pizza with no sauce and a cherry coke.
Lady, typing on a computer: Okay, a medium pizza with no sauce, just plain cheese, is that correct?
Customer: No. With pepperoni. And a cherry coke.
Lady: Pepperoni… [types again] I’m just pushing all the wrong buttons tonight.
Customer: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Lady: It’s one of those days where you just shouldn’t have woken up, you know?
Customer: Uh… yeah.
Lady: At least it’s almost over though, right?
Customer: …right….
Lady: So you said you wanted a medium pepperoni pizza, with no sauce, a side of ranch, and a cherry coke?
Customer: No side of ranch.
Lady: Awww, but ranch is good for you!
Customer: …no ranch, thank you.
Lady: Fine, goodnight. [hangs up phone]

Hanover, New Hampshire

Overheard by: Will

Posted on November 23, 2022
Advice, Customers, Default, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Gripes, Meals and Snacks, New Hampshire, Offers and requests, On the phone, Weirdness, Wishes

Wishes