Woman trainer: The system is down today. I think I might go get a mammogram instead of working.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Patrick
Woman trainer: The system is down today. I think I might go get a mammogram instead of working.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Patrick
Professor: America is a melting pot.
Dude: America is not a melting pot… It’s more of a Lunchable. We are all in the same place, but we keep to our own little compartments.
1906 College Heights Boulevard
Bowling Green, Kentucky
Overheard by: hyacinth_hunter
Presenter: People never want to see Loss Prevention until they need them. But we’re friendly. Like the police in your town. I mean, don’t you think the police in your town are your friends?
The class stared back at him blankly.
10 Mountainview Road
Upper Saddle River, New Jersey
Undergraduate advisor: I'm coming around to the idea of casual sodomy.
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: count me in!
Professor: What's the big deal? I don't understand what I did wrong here.
Angry grad student: You put information in that grant that is absolutely wrong! You totally misconstrued the results!
Professor: Well…fine, but I said it was “early preliminary data,” so it should be okay.
Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: LabCat
Professor: Do I need to sign something saying I signed something?
Langford Architecture Center, Texas A&M University
College Station, Texas
Overheard by: Faith
Head trainer: Let’s face it, if you could be all that you could be, you wouldn’t be working here…
Class: [Silence.]Trainee #1: [Applause.]Trainees #2 and #3: [Applause.]
Mutual of America, 320 Park Avenue
New York, New York
Professor #1: What's going on out there?
Professor #2: It's either a gang fight or a game of Red Rover.
College
West Virginia
Overheard by: Professor 3
Teacher: Fix the photocopier, it’s not working.
Secretary: What did you do to it?
Teacher: Nothing, it’s just jammed, unjam it.
Secretary: Oh my god, what is that smell…what did you do?
Teacher: Nothing.
Secretary: Did you put transparencies in here? Oh my god, you did! Dude! You can’t do that! They’ll melt! This is a colour photocopier.
Teacher: I wanted colour transparencies.
Secretary: You are so demoted to mimeograph!
557 Church Street
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Professor: Given the above table, who thinks penguin milk has less fat than seal milk?
Half the class raises their hands.
Professor: How many think penguin milk has more fat than seal milk?
Other half raises their hands.
Professor to TA: This is a bad sign.
UC Davis
Davis, California
Overheard by: someone easily tricked at 8am sans coffee
