Archive for the ‘Teachers’ Category

You Did Just Telegraph the Whole World Wide Web

Professor #1: You know what I hate? There’s never any TP in the men’s room. You have to bring your own.
Professor #2: Yeah, I know. Unless you buy it at the vending machine. 

Professor #1 unspools some paper from a roll on the coffee table.

Professor #1: I just hate using this roll. It’s like telegraphing the whole world you’ve gotta take a dump.

San 69 – 1
Churye 2‑dong, Sasang-gu
Busan City, South Korea

Overheard by: KGB

Why Do You Keep Winking at Me?

Professor #1: I’m going to go home and collapse. I’ll be back online later this afternoon.
Professor #2: How was the conference?
Professor #1: Oh, it was great. It was in Canada, so all the faculty were about smoking pot and nude beaches.
Professor #2: We have a beach! We have faculty!

Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: blackmail

…Well, I Don’t Mean It in a Sexually Harassing Way, Sir…

Trainee: This customer is mad because we won’t cover an accident that happened before he was insured with us. He won’t stop yelling!
Trainer: Ha! He’s gonna have to suck eggs on that one! Sucks for him. But seriously, go through the facts and dates with him and explain why we won’t cover it. Stay calm and apologize. You can do this!
Trainee, to customer: Thank you for holding. This… uh… Okay. My manager says you have to suck eggs, I’m sorry.

Riverview Parkway, San Diego

I’m Hoping to Put Everything Right With a Deathbed Confession

Professor: What’s the big deal? I don’t understand what I did wrong here.
Angry grad student: You put information in that grant that is absolutely wrong! You totally misconstrued the results!
Professor: Well…fine, but I said it was “early preliminary data,” so it should be okay.

Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat