Older man checking in at resort: Do I sign where it says “signature”?
Hilton Head Island, South Carolina
Archive for the ‘South Carolina’ Category
12PM Reviews Due
Manager: How has his performance been since we counseled him last June?
Subordinate: He’s been real good. He did a complete 350.
7801 Park Place Road
York, South Carolina
Overheard by: K. Boss
…As My “I Might As Well Be Pooping” Bumper Sticker Clearly States.
Sales rep #1: I wish we had cordless phones.
Sales rep #2: Why?
Sales rep #1: Well, if I’m going to be on hold, I might as well be pooping or something.
Fort Mill, South Carolina
The Clerk Used to Work at Starbucks
Customer: I need to get a dozen and a half, mixed.
Clerk, counting on her day-glo orange fingernails: It’d be cheaper if you got 18.
Customer: What’s the difference?
Clerk: ten cents.
Smirking customer: Ok, I’ll take 18.
Dunkin’ Donuts
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: are u kidding me?
Just Singe the Page a Bit
Company president: I love the photo [of a blonde girl on the beach] you used on this brochure. It’s perfect. But can you keep the same photo and just make her black instead?
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: Office Peon
Because Now I Have to Go See
Manager: I was walking my dog this morning when I felt a pain in a very private place, so I ran inside my house and pulled my pants down in my living room, and a fire ant had bitten me on my you-know-what!
Employee: Ouch?
Manager: It really itches. I keep going to the bathroom and pulling down my pants and looking at it and touching it, but I’m scared to put any medicine on my private place.
Employee: Oh. That is a problem.
Manager: I know. Oh, I’m itching again, I’ll be right back. [Goes to the restroom.]Employee, to coworker: I’m picturing her 50-year-old, ant-bitten vagina right now, and I want to stab myself to get that image out of my head.
Sandwich shop
South Carolina
The Kids Were Playing in Them Again
Intern: I’ve found the body bags!
Greenville, South Carolina
3PM Coffee Break
Co-worker: That must be why I haven’t been getting any sleep; I moved back to my own desk!
856 William Hilton Parkway
Hilton Head Island, South Carolina
They Understand That They Need to Use Smaller Words
Intern: I think I need to dye my hair blonde again. People understand me better when I’m blonde.
Charleston, South Carolina
Why There Are So Few Mexican Internet Cafes
Cube rat #1: Hey Chris, go install this on Ben’s computer.
Cube rat #2: (lets out audible fart)
Cube rat #1: Never mind.
Cube rat #2: Hey, I’m only getting two bars for my laptop’s Wi-Fi connection.
Cube rat #3: It’s because that damn fart cloud is out blocking the signal!
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: Cube Rat Holding Nose
