Front office girl at medical spa, hanging up phone: The client says we are not taking her concerns seriously, and she is going to report us to the Surgeon General.
Ditzy manager: The Surgeon General? But we don't have anything to do with smoking!
Front office girl, under her breath: I can't believe I have to report to you.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: OMG The IQ level here is amazing
Saleswoman: I've had this cough for weeks. It's in my back now. I'll cough so bad sometimes that I'll almost pee myself or I'll throw up. I've tried every over-the-counter medicine they make. Tylenol, Theraflu, I've tried them all. I just can't get rid of it.
Coworker: Cigarette?
Saleswoman: Yeah, I could really use one.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: non-smoker
Smoking coworker, making a cigarette “dance”, singing: It's that time again, time for a kiss with my smoky friend.
Receptionist: Were you dropped on your head as a child?
Smoking coworker: Actually, I was!
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Amused
Coworker trying to quit smoking to coworker who still smokes: You just burned one, didn't you? You looked sick and happy when you walked in.
Amarillo, Texas
Overheard by: Gina
Smoker #1: Hey, I didn’t know you smoked. When did you start smoking?
Smoker #2: About four years ago, right after my wife left me. It gives me something else to do with my hands.
Kokomo, Indiana
Cube dweller #1: I heard Obama smokes! I wouldn't want someone who smokes in the White House!
Cube dweller #2: But you smoke!
Cube dweller #1: It's just so irresponsible!
Bellevue, Washington
Overheard by: just a temp
Manager: Finally finished after the system went down on me, twice.
Omaha, Nebraska
Coworker who quit smoking four days ago: You know what? I'm to that point now, where I'm starting to cough shit up. I mean, I know it's nasty, but you look in the sink and you say to yourself, “cool…that's not in me anymore!”
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: Ashley
Female marketing manager on phone: That was the best meeting we've had since I've been here. It felt like sex! When it was finished I wanted to smoke a cigarette and drink some scotch.
Technology Square
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Very pregnant office hoochie: I need to hurry and get outside for one last smoke break before my lunch is over, but I can't go fast with this waddle!
Baton Rouge, Louisiana
