Woman: Man, I got so shitfaced last night. Major hangover. I’m not gonna get anything done.
Lackey: Well, good thing you’re a VP. You can get away with that kind of thing.
Woman: I know, right? And I don’t even have a college education!
Lackey: Guess I wasted those four years and workday sobriety for nothing. And all this time I could have been a hungover dropout.
Woman: Live and learn!
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Kate
Woman describing new car: It’s like the Cadillac of cars!
Providence, Rhode Island
Well-dressed 30-something woman: So my son was like: “Mom! There’s this ball in my privates and it’s moving around!” So I told him to talk to his father because I want nothing to do with this conversion. So he says: “Dad! There’s this ball in my privates and it’s moving around!” and my husband goes: “Yeah -’cause those are your balls. Women have boobs and men have balls and those are your balls! End of story.“
Slightly horrified 20-something woman: Don’t you think that will ultimately confuse him?
30-something woman: I know, right?! Anyway, it was so funny… [Laughs] Balls!
Providence, Rhode Island
Executive: In ’06 we need to get more blood from the turnip.
2000 Plainfield Pike
Cranston, Rhode Island
Female secretary #1: I decided I’m not going to golf in the rain anymore.
Female secretary #2: Are you guys going to fight?
Male secretary: No fighting! Only dancing!!
Providence, Rhode Island
Woman flipping through old textbook: In my ideal world, all Davids are naked.
Oldferry Road
Bristol, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Amy
Male machinist: So do you like donkeys and stuff?
Female machinist: What…? What do you mean?
Male machinist: Ya know, like donkeys and horses…
Female machinist: Uh, why?
Male machinist: We’re having a donkey and horse show this weekend. Oh! But not that kind.
Female machinist: Oh, good. You were weirding me out, man.
Rhode Island
Overheard by: Female Machinist
Coworker #1: Is Florida’s time zone one or two hours behind us?
Coworker #2: I’m not sure. It’s pretty far south, so probably two.
235 Promenade Street
Providence, Rhode Island
Manager: Well if they don’t fill out the forms right, they don’t get their shit. I have no sympathy for them…and you know what I say? If they want to find sympathy, they can look in the dictionary between “shit” and “syphilis.”
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Katie M
Office drone on phone: There’s a woman out there. Oh, that’s not a woman, that’s the governor.
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: evelyn
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist