Office Manager: You hired her, but you haven’t interviewed anyone else. Is she that qualified?
Suit: Actually no, she doesn’t have any experience working as an engineer.
Office Manager: Then why not interview some other people and see if you find someone better?
Suit: Because I don’t feel like interviewing. Besides, she has a really nice rack so I will at least have something good to look at.
1042 Hamilton Ct.
Menlo Park, California
Boss to intern: The gym is a great place for networking. You tend to have a bit more pull with your colleagues when you see them naked in the locker room every morning.
Bellingham, Washington
Coworker #2: She just looks that way, it’s her default face.
Coworker #1: Well, her default face looks like someone murdered her puppy.
Springfield, Massachusetts
Spikey-haired waiter: I’ll be right back with your check.
Cranky old man: I hope all his hair falls out!
Wife: Calm down!
Cranky old man: It’s a fad!
(spikey-haired waiter brings check)
Cranky old man: Oh! Mints!
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Male intern #1: Was she hot?
Male intern #2: She had a huge rack.
Female intern: (laughs)
Male intern #1: What? Are boobs funny now?
Female intern: No, he just didn’t really answer the question.
Male intern #2: Yeah, I did. He basically said “would you do her?” and I said “yeah.“
Female intern: No, I mean, if you just saw her face, would you say she was pretty?
Male intern #2: If I saw just her face?
Female intern: Yeah.
Male intern #2: I wouldn’t recognize her.
Des Moines, Iowa
Young attorney #1: I look like an old woman in this coat.
Young attorney #2: Maybe a slutty old woman.
Young attorney #1: I wish I was a slutty old woman.
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Exec: Nobody walks around in culottes unless there’s something important going on.
150 5th Avenue
New York, NY
Woman on phone with client: Let me put this to you another way: you pay for four hours with a whore. You buy her a catsuit. At the end of that time, you don’t own the whore. You may still retain the catsuit but what good will that do you, since you’re a 45-year-old balding fat guy? You might as well leave the catsuit with the whore.
Defense Contractor
Andover, Massachusetts
Male coworker to another: I’d love to see pictures of you as a child. Or, better yet, video.
New Haven, Connecticut
Overheard by: Derek
Woman, matter-of-factly, to male associate: Micropenis.
Time Warner Building, Columbus Circle
New York City, New York
Overheard by: jt & lc
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist