…And yet they’re still read­ing

Great minds all over the world hate Over­heard in New York. Here’s what they’ve been telling us. Are you re­al­ly an­gry with us? Tell us why!

***

WW­CD: What would Chom­sky do?

Dear OINN Ed­i­to­r­i­al Staff,

The head­line con­test as of to­day reads:

>Girl­friend: You could just be gay.
>Boyfriend: I don’t want to be gay! I just wan­na be a woman.

If you’re fa­mil­iar with trans­gen­dered in­di­vid­u­als, who are by de­f­i­n­i­tion not, as the per­son here right­ly states, gay, then this ceas­es to be fun­ny. I rec­om­mend view­ing the bril­liant doc­u­men­tary South­ern Com­fort as pre­cur­so­ry sen­si­tiv­i­ty train­ing [http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1104978-southern_comfort/]

What’s in­ter­est­ing on this side of the bor­der, and agreed up­on by nu­mer­ous ed­u­cat­ed per­sons that I’ve met in oth­er coun­tries, is that the cream of the aca­d­e­m­ic crop in the US have the racial and sex­u­al sen­si­tiv­i­ty of high school grads else­where. This might have some­thing to do with the fact that in a UN glob­al study a fews years back, which test­ed sec­ondary school stu­dents from over fifty so-called first world coun­tries, the US came dead last (sad but true, and you’re wel­come to re­search that). So I read OINN like I watch hor­ror movies, know­ing that my neigh­bour, who has the most weapons in the world, is al­so the dumb­est.

You could con­ceiv­ably save face by re­plac­ing the head­line with one that makes sense, al­though with you Amer­i­cans be­ing as pride­ful, stub­born and re­ac­tionary as you are ig­no­rant, I doubt that will hap­pen.

Love,

[Name with­held]

P.S. Can’t say I won’t con­tin­ue to read OINN, though. Like I say, I love be­ing scared, and the irony of there be­ing a mod­er­ate lev­el of stu­pid in choos­ing which quotes are stu­pid-fun­ny is as de­li­cious as the hu­mour in the quotes them­selves. Yum.

P.P.S. Chom­sky would re­move it.

***

And This Over Here Is a Box-Cut­ter, Which Is Used on Mus­lim
Christ­mas

This head­line is dispi­ca­ble. You racists should be ashamed of
your­selves. No won­der the rest of the world hates Amer­i­ca. Keep
up the ha­tred and pro­mot­ing of stereo­types, it’s de­stroy­ing
Amer­i­ca!

***

Re­cent­ly, you post­ed some­thing on your “Over­heard at the Of­fice” site that I found an­noy­ing. It was some­thing like this:

Af­ter Suc­cess­ful­ly Out­law­ing Sci­ence, Kansas Gets Right to Work on Math
Tope­ka City Coun­cil Mem­ber: I thought we just vot­ed that down unan­i­mous­ly, with the ex­cep­tion of one or two votes.

Capi­tol grounds
Tope­ka, Kansas

I want to say that I thor­ough­ly dis­agree with your de­pic­tion of Kansans be­ing op­posed to sci­ence and to math­e­mat­ics. I am a Kansan by choice, proud to be one, and I take great ex­cep­tion to peo­ple por­tray­ing us as an­ti-tech­no­log­i­cal.

In fact, I chal­lenge you to come here to Kansas to dis­cuss the mat­ter with me. How­ev­er, just to make sure that you don’t get fouled up, re­mem­ber that our time zone is dif­fer­ent here — you’ll need to set your cal­en­dar back 50 years

***

how come so many head­lines are racist? and a lot of times not even fun­ny racist where they’re iron­ic or part of what’s even over­heard, but un­nec­es­sar­i­ly racist. i re­al­ize you’re all white and you prob­a­bly like to laugh at us, but come on, it’s not like we’re from jer­sey. ex­am­ples in­clude:

Where the Prob­a­bil­i­ty Ap­proach­es 100% That There Ex­ist Black Peo­ple

Like They’re Afraid of a Crime Hap­pen­ing in a Pri­mar­i­ly Black Neigh­bor­hood or Some­thing

‘Re­al Hip-Hop Artist’ Is an Oxy­moron, So We Can­not Ver­i­fy This

***

To the Ed­i­tors:

Since I just learned about and start­ed con­tribut­ing to your site, I’m not send­ing hatemail per se–I just want­ed to point out, re­gard­ing one of the en­tries I just read, that “Jew­ess” is a pe­jo­ra­tive term–look in Web­ster’s Col­le­giate, or es­pe­cial­ly the Amer­i­can Her­itage Dic­tio­nary (it has a “Us­age Pan­el” ex­pla­na­tion), for con­fir­ma­tion of this. So is “Negress.”

Just as I as­sume you would­n’t pub­lish oth­er eth­nic slurs, I hope you won’t pub­lish ei­ther of these in the fu­ture, but rather would use “Jew­ish woman,” or “black/African Amer­i­can woman.”

***

Sor­ry, Not Ap­plic­a­ble to Jews” for the con­test? Lis­ten moth­er­fuck­ers, peo­ple of all back­grounds try to save mon­ey. As a mat­ter of fact, the cheap­est peo­ple I’ve ever met were black and Ital­ian. Drop dead, fuck­wads.

***

[Name With­held] is a walk­ing ra­tio­nal­iza­tion for racism and vi­o­lence, proof pos­i­tive that “Nev­er Again” is noth­ing but a vi­cious con­fi­dence game, and much worse than a lot of the fools on here who get quot­ed. You don’t know the half of it and you don’t need to know. I en­joy the site, ex­cept for the jew­jokes, which of­ten back­fire. It’s like the racial tol­er­ance of you peo­ple goes no fur­ther than pig­ging out on fu­sion cui­sine. I’m sure you know the en­tire site is premised up­on the school­brat dic­tum of “it takes one to know one.” ;) Wish you had some­thing much BET­TER to do for the world, but if this is where you’re stalled then thanks for keep­ing us en­ter­tained in your low­ly lit­tle way.

— Up [Name With­held’s] Schiz­o­phrenic Ass­hole

***

HI LOL YOUR SITE SUCKS AND THE QUOTES AREN’T EVEN FUN­NY LOL MAYBE YOU SHOULD HIRE SOME JEWS LIKE JER­RY SE­IN­FIELD TO MAKE THIS SITE NOT SUCK SO MUCH LOL WOW WHAT A BAD SITE LOL ALL THE QUOTES ARE TER­RI­BLE LOL YOU BIG JEW CLOWN LOL

***

Yeah, it’s re­al to re­fer to women as JAPS — you get to be misog­y­nis­tic
and an­ti­se­mit­ic at the same time, not that you mo­rons know that the
women in ques­tion are ac­tu­al­ly Jew­ish any­way. Fuck off and die you an­ti­se­mit­ic as­s­wipes.

***

It sounds histri­on­ic, but I know that [name with­held] is more re­spon­si­ble for the War in Iraq than any­one in the Tal­iban, any­one in the Bush Ad­min­is­tra­tion, any­one in Iraq, or even any­one in the fam­i­ly of the ghost who died in­tes­tate and un­clean whose psy­chic bank ac­count went par­tial­ly in­to [name withheld]‘s pos­ses­sion. You’re not in­no­cent ei­ther (no­body is at this point, the road to gen­uine di­vin­i­ty has been closed for many hun­dreds of years for every­one who is­n’t al­ready old now), but you’re a lot nicer and I was com­pelled to spew this hor­ror out in­co­her­ent­ly. Cf. Yeats Is Dead! which is al­so self­ish lies, but a lot clos­er to the truth than you bo­zos. The Holo­caust is go­ing to be re­peat­ed, and that’s every­one’s fault and prob­lem. Lessons were cer­tain­ly NOT learned, and this plan­et can­not sus­tain the at­ti­tudes and en­ti­tle­ment-com­plex­es which have arisen. The Jews took this pow­er for their own and the Jews are be­ing held re­spon­si­ble. Sure, there will be a slave class to take all the heat, but the Jews are the ones re­spon­si­ble. RE­AL jews are able to see be­yond their jew­ish­ness, kikes just TALK about it and ex­pect every­one to be con­vinced. Kike is a word in­vent­ed by jews against jews and now they want to erase it as if they nev­er com­mit­ted that self-de­struc­tive sin. Any­way. I have no good news, and it serves you right for think­ing the chris­tians were less than they were. An an­tichrist has been raised, and Ab­bad­don has tak­en the key. Yeah, this is crazy. So is every­thing. There is no way to come clean now, not with Peo­ple mag­a­zine and 12 mil­lion Amer­i­can chil­dren on Prozac and Ri­tal­in in­stead of hav­ing their Con­sti­tu­tion­al rights to re­li­gious ex­pres­sion (not free­dom of athe­ism its lack but free­dom of re­li­gion), and all sorts of semi­tes pre­sum­ing to sue for sep­a­ra­tion of church from state in amer­i­ca when they can­not be both­ered to repa­tri­ate their home­land which was hand­ed to them on a sil­ver plat­ter af­ter their fail­ing to win it back for so many years. I’d rather be a sunspot than hear one more self-right­eous­ly racist and of­fen­sive­ly self-de­struc­tive joke about Christ­mas in Jew York City in the Jew­Night­ed States in our plan­et Kike­world, which used to be known as Earth.

***

these have got to be the worst quotes / con­ver­sa­tion pieces so called
fun­ny items etc that I’ve ever read. There is not one item I’ve read
so far that makes any sense …the site de­fies a mean­ing for it’s
ex­is­tance !!

***

To pass along such ob­vi­ous hate and dis­re­gard for re­li­gion and race is dis­gust­ing. And I for one will no longer sup­port this site and will pass along this in­for­ma­tion to every­one that will lis­ten. And be­ing that I work in the en­ter­tain­ment and par­ty plan­ning busi­ness, my con­nec­tions run deep and wide.

***

this would be a great site with­out the small-mind­ed ado­les­cent
smart-ass head­lines (which are a thou­sand times less fun­ny than what’s
over­heard). why not just use the lo­ca­tion as the head­line (‘104th and
broad­way’)?

***

You guys are a joke. It’s peo­ple like you that have de­stroyed New
York City. Wealthy whites from god knows what part of the coun­try,
Ohio, the mid­west, the sub­urbs, mak­ing this site to maybe es­cape
the fact that you grew up in the mid­dle of nowhere, mak­ing fun of
sub­ur­ban­ites, pre­tend­ing New York City is yours to claim as the the
great­est place on earth. It’s not any­more. It’s just the play­ground
for spoiled young whites nowa­days, i.e., a new sub­urb with taller
build­ings. Con­grat­u­la­tions on ru­in­ing New York City. You will nev­er
know what it was like to be a true New York­er. You are fakes,
posers, what­ev­er. Keep pre­tend­ing that you’re re­al­ly from Brook­lyn
or whereev­er area of NYC that you moved in­to and de­stroyed with
your pres­ence. Please fuck­ing die. With your gen­tri­fi­ca­tion you
have made it un­af­ford­able for me to stay in the place I grew up. I
go to a school that is large­ly filled with young well bred whites,
like you, who view this city as a stage to ful­fill their dreams of
be­com­ing like Sex and the City stars/starlets, or be­com­ing in some
way or the oth­er, ‘hood,’ and mak­ing a com­plete farce out of eth­nic
com­mu­ni­ties, plac­ing them on some sort of dis­play, as if the cute
mi­nori­ties are for a sideshow, for some per­verse en­ter­tain­ment, to
give these young Vir­ginia raised whites tasty food to hide the fact
(maybe their guilt?) that they grew up in lily-white sub­urbs. These,
of course, are all gen­er­al­iza­tions. But I can­not feel any­thing but
anger to­wards this new­found, over­whelm­ing de­sire among peo­ple my
age from out­side NYC, to be­come part of some­thing that rep­re­sents
some­thing that the out­siders have no right to have a claim to -
name­ly, in­tri­cate self-suf­fi­cient (i.e., eth­nic restau­rants weren’t
es­tab­lished to charge 12 dol­lars a plate to a Mary­land sub­ur­ban­ite
so he can be ‘cool’ like the char­ac­ters in Spike Lee movies)
com­mu­ni­ties es­tab­lished over decades as a re­sult of every­thing from
un­easi­ness with oth­ers of dif­fer­ent back­grounds to a de­sire to
recre­ate the moth­er­land, what­ev­er that may be, on a small scale to
com­bat mass home­sick­ness among im­mi­grants. And this in­flux of
gen­tri­fiers sud­den­ly forces mem­bers of this com­mu­ni­ty to pay
ridicu­lous rents to re­side in a place — per­haps the ON­LY place — in
this en­tire strange coun­try that is the Unit­ed States, that feels
like home to them. Sud­den­ly restau­rants can­not keep sell­ing cheap
eth­nic food to the com­mu­ni­ty mem­bers, as they have to deal with
ris­ing rents. This to me is like im­pe­ri­al­ists ar­riv­ing in a weak
coun­try, and tax­ing the ‘na­tives.’ How this is all a re­sult of
sim­ple mar­ket­ing of the cool­ness of ur­ban­ism, how sud­den­ly the
sub­urbs are out, but the urbs are in, be­wil­ders me. How en­tire
cul­tures can be sub­ju­gat­ed be­cause cer­tain ‘nabes’ are hot is
sick­en­ing to the stom­ach. The rich keep get­ting rich­er and the poor
keep get­ting poor­er — and in this case I feel that class and race
are in­seper­a­ble.

***

Hi! One of the new quotes, 2:00am, 14th Au­gust 2006: It’s an Ele­phant Bend­ing Over, fea­tures “a Jew­ish friend” and “a shik­sa”. Ac­cord­ing to Wikipedia e.g., Shik­sa (Yid­dish: שיקסע) or “Shikse,” lit­er­al­ly means “fe­male abom­i­na­tion”, re­fer­ring to non-Jew­ish women. You don’t use oth­er eth­nic or racial slurs like “nig­ger” or a “zhid” de­scrib­ing those in­volved in a sit­u­a­tion, why did you de­cide to use it this time? Please change it for some­thing less of­fen­sive Thanks.

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What the heck is an AL­SOME quote? FIX IT!

***

Can you stop us­ing the word “thug”? You’re ob­vi­ous­ly re­fer­ring to young peo­ple of col­or, like Bloomberg did dur­ing the tran­sit strike. This is pret­ty racist. Thank you.