Partner #1: What’s on the agenda for my meeting with Jerry*?
Partner #2: Ask whether his HIV is full-blown AIDS. Find out if he’s using client money to pay for his crystal meth habit. Ask if he’s ready to face the NASD, SIPC, and SEC.
2999 North 44th Street
Phoenix, Arizona
Wifey on phone: Why didn’t you answer your cell phone?
Office peon: I can’t answer my cell phone! It’s in the ceiling!
Wifey: What do you mean, ‘it’s in the ceiling’?
Office peon: Exactly what you fucking think I mean! It’s in the fucking ceiling!
5900 Howard Street
Skokie, Illinois
Overheard by: Electrical Estimator
- Posted on
- Couples, Illinois, On the phone
Lobbyist: Who’s your favorite consultant?! Who?! Say my name!
K Street
Washington, DC
- Posted on
- Consultants, Violence, Washington DC
Owner of company: That, coming out of a midget, would kick ass!
111 Oak Street
Bonner Springs, Kansas
- Posted on
- Executives, Kansas, Possible Sexual Harassment
Office grunt: I wish they would come to see if our workplace is killing us.
11 4th Street
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: cuberat
- Posted on
- Coworkers, Office Politics, Rhode Island
Pregnant teen cashier: Where is my prostate?
Coworker: Uhhh…
South Carolina
- Posted on
- Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, South Carolina
Coworker #1: I remember trying heroin once. It was the only time I managed to beat my aunt at Scrabble.
Coworker #2: Dude, that’s like doing coke and kicking back with a puzzle!
600 Anton Boulevard
Costa Mesa, California
- Posted on
- California, Coworkers, Substance Use & Abuse
Secretary: I’ve got a bad rash in between my boobs.
Coworker: Uh…
Secretary: See, it’s really bad.
Coworker: Uh… [tries to look away but is too slow].
Secretary, smelling her fingers: It smells real bad, too.
Liberty and Division Street
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Violated
- Posted on
- Creepsters, Gossip, Michigan
Abs instructor pointing out muscle groups: That’s the great thing about being the instructor — you get to touch.
Army base
Iraq
Overheard by: The Touched
- Posted on
- Consultants, Iraq, Possible Sexual Harassment
Boss on phone: Yeah, I’ll bring the bottle of wine tomorrow… No, the plan is you make fun of my gout and then tease me with the bottle… Okay, great, see you then.
2694 Peachtree Road
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Covert Kitten
- Posted on
- Dumb Bosses, Georgia, On the phone
