Chick: I can’t pee when the janitor is in there.
Dude: What, it throws you off? Try peeing while Al Gore is peeing right next to you on his phone. I usually just turn around and walk right back out.
King Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: misnomer
- Posted on
- California, Friends, Restroom
Early bird #1: Our system is down.
Early bird #2: Crap. Well, that’s okay. I really didn’t feel like doing anything today, anyway.
Early bird #1: I guess maybe around eight someone in corporate will come in and get us rollin’.
Early bird #2: I don’t think they get in until 8:45.
Early bird #1: I guess we just hang out, then!
Early bird #2, going to cubicle: Actually, it’s Friday, so we probably won’t hear anything from corporate until after nine… At least we have the Internet! Wait! Oh my god, do we have the Internet?!
Early bird #1: Yup, already checked. Internet is up!
Early bird #2: We’re good, then.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
- Posted on
- Coworkers, North Carolina, Technology
CSR: The best way to get through lasers is break dancing!
Columbus, Ohio
- Posted on
- Advice, Customer Service, Ohio
Customer: I want to return this breast pump. It doesn’t work.
Manager: What’s wrong with it?
Customer: It doesn’t suck!
Store
Fort Worth, Texas
- Posted on
- Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Texas
New art director: This product line is called Madrid, right?
Creative director: Yes.
New art director: So why do you want me to look for images of the south of France?
Creative director: Isn’t Madrid on the coast of France?
325 Model Farm Road
High Point, North Carolina
Overheard by: I could find that on a map
- Posted on
- Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, North Carolina
Worker bee: How many more times are you going to touch those?
Parham Road
Richmond, Virginia
- Posted on
- Coworkers, Possible Sexual Harassment, Virginia
Account executive: Is child porn wrong if only children see it?
330 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
- Posted on
- Executives, Illinois, Possible Sexual Harassment
Bimbette: I need a shorter stud for my Monroe piercing ’cause I can’t go down on my boyfriend. And… I like to do that.
Piercer: That sucks for both of you then, because you can’t have a shorter stud in yet.
Bimbette: I can’t suck dick! [Her mom leaves the store.]
Lake Forest, California
Overheard by: indigo_dream
- Posted on
- Bimbettes, California, Gossip
Forklift driver: I need to reload this overweight [truck]. Do I need to unload the ass to put these two in the belly, or should I just throw them on?
Supervisor: Really, I would prefer them in the ass.
Iowa
- Posted on
- Bosses and Underlings, Iowa, Possible Sexual Harassment
Cashier: Oh, I’m sorry, it says your funds are insignificant. Maybe you should call your bank?
917 East Broadway
Tempe, Arizona
- Posted on
- Arizona, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy
