Employee, about jury duty: I figure if they’re in court, they’re guilty of something, or why would they be there?
323 East Grand River Avenue
Howell, Michigan
Overheard by: Dunder Mifflin
- Posted on
- Dumb Employees, Gossip, Michigan
Quality manager: Well, why doesn’t it work?
Software manager: Because we didn’t write it that way.
Redmond, Washington
- Posted on
- Dumb Bosses, Technology, Washington
Purchaser on phone: No, no, the price is fine. I’m just a little concerned about the thickness of the shaft… How exactly is it lubricated? … Well, yeah, with that kind of thickness you are talking major lubrication…
Manufacturing company offices
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Salty
- Posted on
- Canadia, Dumb Customers, Possible Sexual Harassment
Client: I just want to touch a hundred and fifty people a day for three minutes.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: 1 or 2 at a time?
Coworker #1: So, I got my girlfriend to give me a wax job on the weekend — y’know — down there.
Coworker #2: Oh, yeah? How was that? Nice?
Coworker #1: No… She waxed my piercing off through the skin.
Coworker #2: Shit!
Coworker #1: Yeah…
Government Department
London
England
Senior manager: Hi, honey, how was your day?
Kid on speakerphone: If you were here, you’d know.
42nd Street and Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Guy: Man, having cigarettes without a lighter is like having peanuts without the jelly!
Lady: Don’t you mean butter?
Guy: Oh, no. I got the butter.
1450 East Parham Road
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: smoking some distance away
- Posted on
- Comebacks, Coworkers, Meals and Snacks, Substance Use & Abuse, Virginia, Words
Boss: Your code no longer doesn’t not fail.
Howell, Michigan
Overheard by: Eric
- Posted on
- Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Michigan
Receptionist on door intercom: Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay [hangs up]. Bob*, a guy from RICO is here to service you.
Hangar Place
Allentown, Pennsylvania
- Posted on
- Consultants, On the phone, Pennsylvania
Woman: That’s why I’m glad I only have one kid — I can’t keep up with all the names.
Sunset Boulevard
Lexington, South Carolina
Overheard by: LL
- Posted on
- Insults, Parents, South Carolina
