Boss: I don't want to drink by myself.
Employee: You won't be. You'll be on a conference call.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Mark W.
Hah! You Said “Insert”!
Girl office worker, pointing to three-ring binder: Oh! You have a pretty purple one!
Male coworker: Go ahead and take it.
Girl office worker: Oh, it?s too small. I need a big pretty purple one.
Male coworker: Insert your own joke here.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
But As a Paralegal? No.
Lawyer: Ben*, if I e-mail you something, can you figure out how to print it on legal-size paper?
Paralegal: Ummm, sure. [Later brings back printed text.]Lawyer: Oh, great! You know, you have a future as a printer!
575 Lexington Avenue
New York, New York
In Unrelated News, Can I Have Tomorrow Off?
Blonde coworker: But that's the problem with this country, people are lazy now, never put any thought or effort into anything. They're sloppy. Like, some guy passed a bank teller a “this is a holdup” note on the back of his damn pay stub from his job. I can't respect that kind of stupidity.
Manager: You know what? You would be a really good criminal. I mean that as a compliment.
Blonde coworker: I know, right? It's almost scary. I'd never get caught.
Chelmsford, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Not sure I want to sit by her anymore
He Doesn't Dig Me, I'm Afraid
Suit to intern: Why don't you have your boyfriend dig you out?
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Christine O'Donnell, for One.
Law firm lady #1: What state is DC in? Virginia or Maryland?
Law firm lady #2: Well, it's its own state; just put 'DC' as the state.
Law firm lady #1: Okay, thanks. But, was DC ever a state at one point? I know like some people there still want to be part of the confederacy or something.
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Jimmy
Who's Doing the Sexual Harassing Here? Show Your Work.
Female nurse, about new netbook: I guess I have to take this little pink thing home and test it out.
Male office manager: Can I watch?
Twin Falls, Idaho
Overheard by: jaekar99
We Figured You Upgraded from Food Crumbs
Male coworker covered in cardboard: Thanks for telling me I’ve been walking around with box all over my chest.
Stamford, Connecticut
Overheard by: K-Slim
Then Fill Out Two Copies of the Freudian Slip
Frustrated manager: So just take that and put it in the bitch! I mean, bin. Put it in the bin.
University Avenue
Toronto, Ontario
Overheard by: Hired to do Bitch-Work
5PM That’s a Wrap
Assistant: Are you going to be in next week?
VP: Yes, unless al-Qaeda does something.
1120 20th Street NW
Washington, DC