Should­n’t We at Least Try to Cater to the Se­mi-Lit­er­ate?

In­tern: So do any celebri­ties sub­scribe to our mag­a­zine?
Cir­cu­la­tion gu­ru: Ac­tu­al­ly, James Caan and Shirley MacLaine are long­time sub­scribers. Even Den­nis Hop­per got our mag for awhile.
In­tern (sigh­ing): I mean like re­al celebri­ties. You know: Tila Tequi­la or Zac Efron…

Los An­ge­les, Cal­i­for­nia

Over­heard by: ugh.

Thanks for Noth­ing, Fem­i­nism!

Fe­male cowork­er (ask­ing per­mis­sion to leave desk): Do you need me right now?
Male print­er re­pair­man: No.
Fe­male cowork­er: That’s what men al­ways say to me…

Cham­paign, IL


1PM Lunch

Man on street: Se­ri­ous­ly, if I make one wrong key­stroke, the whole com­pa­ny could go out of busi­ness.

cor­ner of 2nd & Howard
San Fran­cis­co, Cal­i­for­nia

Any Ex­cuse to Tell That Sto­ry

Nurse: She’s been so much bet­ter to­day. Chat­ty. She still walks around like this [puts chin to chest], but she came up to me and was like, “How are you to­day?” I said, “Huh? Oh, I’m fine!” Maybe it’s the Celexa.
Psy­chi­a­trist: Ac­tu­al­ly we’re wean­ing her off the Celexa. We start­ed her on Ef­fex­or.
Nurse: Oh, well, maybe that’s it.
Psy­chi­a­trist: She’s on­ly been on it one day. That would­n’t re­al­ly be long enough.
Nurse: No, that’s not… Celexa… I think I was tak­ing that when I got in­to a fight at the air­port. You know those guys with the M‑16s? Well, I told this one bitch I was gonna jump over the counter and take her out.
Girl: That was Celexa?
Nurse, smil­ing: Yeah.

Ore­gon State Hos­pi­tal
Salem, Ore­gon

Don’t Make Me Get Down on My Knees for It!

Male of­fice work­er #1, re­fer­ring to col­lege bas­ket­ball brack­ets: Well, we’re al­so giv­ing $10 back to the per­son with the worst brack­et.
Male of­fice work­er #2: That’s bull­shit! I should get some­thing.
Fe­male of­fice work­er: Wait, I de­serve my mon­ey be­cause I suck bet­ter than the rest of you!

Con­gres­sion­al Of­fice
Wash­ing­ton, DC

Over­heard by: In­tern try­ing not to make a com­ment