Friend of coworker: (mumbling)
Coworker: So now I am sensitive to size!
Friend of coworker: (more mumbling).
University of Idaho
Moscow, Idaho
And He Said, “I’d Prefer Reparations”
White HR director: I’ve never touched someone’s head like that before! I touched it, and it was all wavy. I told him, you’re the first African-American person’s head I’ve ever touched. You should feel honored.
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Just an office girl…
11AM Company Meeting
Employee #1: So you’re saying the rumors about the possible merger aren’t true?
Board Member: Yes. It’s like we’re dating. We’re going out but we haven’t kissed yet.
Employee #2: You may not have kissed yet, but it sure seems like you’re sleeping together.
1500 Wallace Boulevard
Amarillo, Texas
Drive-Thru Duty at the Bangalore Call Center Is Lonely Work
Delivery lady, on phone: Okay, what can I get for you?
Customer on the other end: I’d like a medium pepperoni pizza with no sauce and a cherry coke.
Lady, typing on a computer: Okay, a medium pizza with no sauce, just plain cheese, is that correct?
Customer: No. With pepperoni. And a cherry coke.
Lady: Pepperoni… [types again] I’m just pushing all the wrong buttons tonight.
Customer: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Lady: It’s one of those days where you just shouldn’t have woken up, you know?
Customer: Uh… yeah.
Lady: At least it’s almost over though, right?
Customer: …right.…
Lady: So you said you wanted a medium pepperoni pizza, with no sauce, a side of ranch, and a cherry coke?
Customer: No side of ranch.
Lady: Awww, but ranch is good for you!
Customer: …no ranch, thank you.
Lady: Fine, goodnight. [hangs up phone]
Hanover, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Will
Oh Wait, It’s Just Models Sharing a New York Apartment
Weird suit: Hey! There’s a box of dead people back here!
Bourse Building
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
…Oops, Wrong Job!
Typist lady, answering the phone: Hello! How are you this morning? (pause) I’m wet.
Yaphank, New York
Overheard by: Junior
I Think That’s What She Told a Bunch Of the Voters
Voice on phone coming out of an office: Really? Because I thought she only had one tit.
(cube dweller swings head around in disbelief)
Voice on the phone: You know like one of the Amazon ladies who shave their breasts off?
(cube dweller scurries away)
New Hampshire
Overheard by: David
Tends to Happen When Your Officemates Are a Bunch Of Animals
Vet: Is Amanda* upstairs?
Amanda*: No, I’m downstairs.
Vet: Oh, she is? Okay, hold on.
(vet goes downstairs)
Amanda*: Did that really happen?
Vet tech: I dunno. I want a beer.
Veterinary Clinic
Mahattan, New York
Overheard by: Vicksburg
Is Your Browser Chafing Again?
Tech illiterate office guy: Phil, how do you lubricate the internet?
Sydney
Australia
… Is What I Say to My Wife in Bed
Manager: If you want to get in on the Vulcan mind meld, you gotta come over here and chug some of this maple syrup.
650 Park Avenue
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania
