Male computer tech to male computer user: Hey, if you let me get between you legs I can fix that issue.
Las Vegas, Nevada
And She Has Yet to See the Connection
Woman at the copier: I’m not saying she’s a whore, just that she likes penis more than her kids.
Jackson, Tennessee
Um, Isn’t That Why Bob Left in the First Place?
Woman #1: The classified logo scripts aren’t working.
Woman #2: Bob* is working on them, but he’s going on vacation tomorrow so the scripts won’t be done until September.
Woman #1: September?!
Woman #2: Yeah, well, you can have IT work on it, but then who knows how long it’ll be before they get around to doing it.
Woman #1: Think they’d do it faster if I showed them my boobs?
1111 West Bonanza Road
Las Vegas, Nevada
Because I’ll Be Coming Directly from Work
Assistant #1: So, what are you wearing to the party? You’ve been pretty secretive about it.
Assistant #2: Well, I’m wearing an old blue slip and a pair of pumps with mirrors on the heels.
Assistant #2: Nice.
Atlanta, Georgia
Worst. Second Job. Ever.
Interviewer: In you medical record it states you had tuberculosis, how did you come across that?
Former sailor/job seeker: I dunno… Probably the whorehouses.
La Plata, Maryland
Overheard by: Got the job ayway!
Career Tip: Slow Readers Resent Duplicate Emails
Coworker to office administrator: Why did you send me this e‑mail twice?
Office admin: Because they sent it to me twice.
Coworker: So why did you send it to me twice?
Office admin: Because I thought it would only take you five seconds to delete.
Coworker: Didn’t you look at it before you sent it to me?
Office admin: Yes… but I didn’t send you the pornographic e‑mail that came in before that one!
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
Twenty Minutes Of Content Turned Into Four Hours Of Agony
Woman to her colleagues: You missed a scintillating webinar this morning.
Manhattan, New York
Aren’t Dong Bongs Illegal in Ohio?
Coworker: It’s so cheesy–the dong. It’s like “here, hit the dong! We’re not giving you a raise, but you get to hit the dong.”
Dublin, Ohio
Overheard by: MissTW
Career Tip: Offer to Speak to the Customer For Your Boss
Boss, with customer on phone, to secretary: Mr Smith* says he doesn’t understand this bill you sent him.
Secretary, quietly, from across the room: It isn’t complicated, can’t he read?
Boss, loudly, next to phone: Yes, he can read!
Winchester, Virginia
Thin People Don’t Need to Like Their Food As Much As I Do
Heavy lady #1: God, I’m on this new diet, and I’m having a hard time staying on it.
Heavy lady #2: Is it the soup diet?
Heavy lady #1: Yeah… All I’ve had to eat today was a half bowl of soup.
Heavy lady #2: Did you eat the banana yet?
Heavy lady #1: No, I tried. I don’t really like bananas.
504 Lavaca Street
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: GangerBanger
