Pizza worker: Hello, XYZ Pizza* — will this be for pick up or delivery?
Customer: Delivery, but we will come in to pay for it.
Pizza worker: Pardon me? Do you want your order delivered or will you pick it up?
Customer, to someone in background: Do you want to just pick the food up if we are going in there anyways? [Into phone] I guess we will pick the food up.
Lackawanna, New York
Coworker #1, reading article: ‘Morphine is highly addictive…‘
Coworker #2: Morphine is not addictive.
Coworker #1: But it says right here in this encyclopedia article–
Coworker #2: –Morphine is not addictive.
All other coworkers: It says right here!
Coworker #2: Morphine is not addictive! I know this for a fact!
Lunch break
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Young employee on cell: You know how you wear pants that are too tight and you get that mark? It’s kinda like that.
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Bruce Banner
Worker #1, about customer: How is it “annually” if she did it in September, and it’s June now?
Worker #2: She’s a moron.
Austin, Texas
Suit #1: He’s from England, from some place called Portsmouth. I think it’s spelled P‑O-R-T-S-M-I-T‑H, but it’s pronounced like Ports Mouth.
Suit #2: Wait. Is it Ports Mouth, or Ports Smith?
Suit #1: I don’t know. It’s some place in Europe, I think.
Hotel
Kowloon, Hong Kong
China
Overheard by: Embarrassed American
Supervisor: I’m sorry, you guys are going to have to keep this door to the hallway open.
Temp: But it’s so noisy out there.
Supervisor: I’m sorry, but we like to have an open door policy. If you want, you can come talk to me about it privately at any time.
1166 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York
Overheard by: a different temp
Coworker #1: You don’t know who Buddy Holly is?
Coworker #2: No.
Coworker #1: “Pretty Woman”?
Coworker #2: I thought that was Richard Gere.
Seattle, Washington
Girl: I gave up dick for lent.
Jericho, New York
Copywriter: Were you looking for me?
Designer: Sorry?
Copywriter: Before, when I was in that meeting…it looked like you were looking for me.
Designer: Ah…Where I walked over, sighed, and declared “Tragedy”; I was actually looking for the coffee. The window to your meeting room just happened to be behind the machine. You guys have better coffee than our side.
12655 Beatrice Street
Los Angeles, California
Boss, sitting at peon’s desk: This chair is not ergonomically correct.
Peon: You’re not ergonomically correct.
Des Moines, Iowa
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist
