And I’m Going to Be Completely Rigid about This

Old maid boss: Do you have a boner over there?
Young male worker, confused: I’m sorry, what?
Old maid boss: A boner. For folding paper [holds up knife]. Do you have one?
Young male worker: How can you seriously be calling it that? I know you know what that means.
Old maid boss: No, I know you need one if you don’t have one. I’ll get another one.
Young male worker: I know you know what that means. I know you know what that means. I don’t want anything to do with it.

6101 O’Connell Avenue
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: TK

Yet You Can Speak Hebrew

Guy #1, in Hebrew: So, what retarded kid are you working with today?
Guy #2, in Hebrew: Dude. Those kids are around here, you know.
Guy #1: Yeah, but no one here knows Hebrew.
Guy #2: This school’s like half Jewish. They might.
Guy #1: Not the retarded ones. They have enough trouble with English. You should know that — you work here, too.

University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland

Overheard by: Knows Hebrew

9AM Work Stinks

I was sitting at the reception desk in my office and the main door leading to the hallway and elevators was propped open. I could not see into the hallway, but I could hear a man and a woman talking as they waited for the elevator. Eventually the elevator door opened and one of them got on. As soon as the door closed the other person not only let out a huge sigh of relief but also the biggest fart I have ever heard. I thought I was going to die I laughed so hard.

400 Park Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Melissa Berry