Office girl on phone: Am I coming into you or are you coming into me?
Melbourne, Florida
Overheard by: John
Archive for the ‘On the phone’ Category
Caller: Good News! They Told Me It Was Okay!
Coworker on phone: I believe the court will look unfavorably at you getting arrested, yes… Well, yeah, obviously a misdemeanor would be better than a felony… I am not saying it’s okay. I’m saying that the court tends to sort of get pissed off at you when you get arrested at all, but it’s even worse when you get arrested for a felony-level offense. What do you mean, you’re not planning on getting caught? You’re asking me about what your chances would be of getting your kids back if you got arrested… I’m pretty sure that’s a felony. And no, I don’t think the court will be lenient with you if you say you hold the drugs to make money to get your kids back. Not the criminal court or our court… Um, that’s definitely a crime. Okay. Bye [hangs up]… How weird is it that I felt like there was nothing wrong with that conversation until after I got off the phone with her?
425 Shatto Place
Los Angeles, California
I Just Call Random Numbers to Keep People on the Level
Guy on phone: You gotta fuckin’ tone it down, dude. I’m a fuckin’ salesman, and I’m tellin’ you, you gotta fuckin’ tone it down. I like you. I’m tellin’ you this because I like you.
Guy on speaker: Thanks.
Guy on phone: But you gotta fuckin’ tone it down.
Guy on speaker: Could you please tell me what this is in regards to?
Boston, Massachusetts
3PM Conference Call
Guy on phone: We got new digs over here! Yeah, we moved out of the building with all the hot woman and into a big corporate building!
1166 Avenue of the Americas
New York, New York
0 People Found This Advice Helpful
Boss: Is that Amazon?
Office manager, answering phone: No, it was recording.
Boss, interrupting again: Was it Amazon?
Office manger: No, it was a recording.
Boss: You sure?
Office manger: Yes. It was silent and beeped and started the recording.
Boss: I thought it was Amazon. [Phone rings again] Is that Amazon?
Office manger: Yes, I’m on hold.
Boss: Maybe you should talk to them.
Center City
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
11AM Parts Check
Coworker #1: I asked for the parts manager, and she said ‘Jerry.’ I said, ‘Terry?’ And she said ‘No, J, as in Jerry.’
Coworker #2: That’s ridiculous.
Coworker #1: Well, she’s in California.
11149 Research Boulevard
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: HellKitty_01
Ad: Aiden Could Configure Anything…Except His Own Life
Recruiter on phone: He’s a hell of a configurer, but he just couldn’t stay off crack.
Durham, North Carolina
I’ll Show You a Graph When We Get Home
Attorney on phone: Hi, sweetie. I’m going to come pick you up after school tomorrow to take you to your appointment… Well, Mommy was going to, but she’s too important to leave the office, and I’m not that important, so I can leave.
1 World Financial Center
New York, New York
How Paper-Pushers Glamorize Their Coffee Break
Loner geek, answering phone: The Phoenix rises at 3 pm. (hangs up phone)
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Bec215
Open Marriage Is Free, but Not Easy
Office lady on cell: Yeah, I was supposed to have lunch with my husband, but he was busy with his girlfriends. (pause) Yeah, at least he tells me when he dates. (pause) Me? No, I just fuck whoever I want, and he can kiss my ass. (pause) Yeah, I am free Thursday.
Chicago, Illinois
