Boss: I need you to work your superpowers for me.
Stunned office monkey: In the office?!
Argentia Road
Mississauga
Canadia
Overheard by: My superpower is top secret
Archive for the ‘Offers and requests’ Category
4PM Snowmobiling?
Worker: Can I take the rest of the day off?
Boss: LetmethinkaboutthatNo.
Worker: Don’t you want to hear why?
Boss: No.
Worker: Some of the guys are going snowmobiling and I wanted to meet up with them…
Boss: What do you think this is, a resort?
Worker: If it were a resort, I wouldn’t have to leave; there’d be things to do.
900 Simpson Street
Saint Paul, Minnesota
Behind the Flowering Ficus
Patient: Where’s the bathroom?
Receptionist: On your way out, you can just go in that corner.
Dentist’s Office
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Avoiding the corner
You Did Say She Was Finger-Sniffin’ Good
Employee to boss returning from lunch with wife: Excuse me, can I smell your fingers?
Frisco, Texas
I’m Slightly Nauseated, but Intrigued
Drone to another: I have something that may tie up your loose end.
Kansas City, Missouri
I Find Birth Control Is the Best Mood Elevator
Office secretary: Beth* keeps me entertained.
Beth*: Yep, just give me a pill!
Pineville, Louisiana
Drive-Thru Duty at the Bangalore Call Center Is Lonely Work
Delivery lady, on phone: Okay, what can I get for you?
Customer on the other end: I’d like a medium pepperoni pizza with no sauce and a cherry coke.
Lady, typing on a computer: Okay, a medium pizza with no sauce, just plain cheese, is that correct?
Customer: No. With pepperoni. And a cherry coke.
Lady: Pepperoni… [types again] I’m just pushing all the wrong buttons tonight.
Customer: Yeah, I know what you mean.
Lady: It’s one of those days where you just shouldn’t have woken up, you know?
Customer: Uh… yeah.
Lady: At least it’s almost over though, right?
Customer: …right.…
Lady: So you said you wanted a medium pepperoni pizza, with no sauce, a side of ranch, and a cherry coke?
Customer: No side of ranch.
Lady: Awww, but ranch is good for you!
Customer: …no ranch, thank you.
Lady: Fine, goodnight. [hangs up phone]
Hanover, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Will
10AM Cancel New Headset Order
Employee: My headset for my phone doesn’t work. Can I have a new one?
Supervisor: Let me see that. Oh…you see what’s wrong? Sometimes the data can get caught in the phone line…so just straighten the cord. That makes the voice data come through more quickly and it won’t get all caught up.
11161 Mill Valley Road
Omaha, Nebraska
There’s Your Cue! Fling Feces At Him
Elderly Boss: I need you to plug in this lamp for me.
Employee: Are you asking me to crawl [under your desk]?
Elderly Boss: You’re the only one who can. You’re my monkey.
703 McKinney Avenue
Dallas, Texas
I’m Not Quite Following You…
Bank teller: Ma’am, from now on if you want your balance you’ll need to request it.
Customer: How do I request it?
Bank teller: Well, ma’am, you just ask me for it.
Houston, Texas
