Branch manager: Your monitor is so bright! I love it! It’s got to be the brightest screen in this office!
Sales guy: Uhhh…
Branch manager: It’s like a hospital computer or something! It’s that bright!
Sales guy: … Well, I was out sick last week…
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Male visitor: I am here because of a class that I missed due to my court case. She (points to professor) told me I could get credit if I showed her my subpoenas.
Campbell University
North Carolina
Branch manager: What do you want me to do? Do you want me to fire him? I’ll fire anyone — I don’t care!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Employee on phone: G as in ‘Jesus.’
8604 Cliff Cameron Drive
Charlotte, North Carolina
Cube dweller: Just like men can get breast cancer, women can get prostate cancer. My gynecologist screens all his patients for it.
North Carolina
Overheard by: Not too worried about it
Director to editor, about shot in short film: If I had done all the moves right, I would have just come on her back.
Wilmywood, North Carolina
Overheard by: Actor
Sales guy: Oh, crap! I left the cap off my Sharpie last night! [Tries it on paper] Oh, no! What can I do?!
Cube rat #1: Well, you could try running a little water over the tip. Or, um, you could just throw it away and get a new one.
Sales guy: Put some water on it? Would that work?
Cube rat #2: Is it a Sharpie or a marker?
Cube rat #3: If putting water on it doesn’t work, try licking it.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
New girl, during one of her constant personal calls: Don't you find it insulting to be a Democrat?
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: Karen
Boss: The black one is almost 88% bigger, but the yellow one is more efficient.
Coworker: Let's just stick with the white ones, it's simple and we know how they work.
Raleigh, North Carolina
Assistant: I became a secretary because I relate well to paper.
Goldsboro, North Carolina
Overheard by: Wow
