Minnesota

Asian coworker, looking up abruptly: You know that smell that you get in your nose when you're done smelling something? I smell meatballs.

St. Cloud, Minnesota

Receptionist: I’m going to Hawaii next week. If I wanted to swim under the entire island, how deep would I have to go?

1600 Utica Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Co-worker #1: Hey, did you all bring in cookies?
Co-worker #2: God, you’re like a shark when there’s blood in the water.

3701 Wayzata Boulevard
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Worker: Can I take the rest of the day off?
Boss: LetmethinkaboutthatNo.
Worker: Don’t you want to hear why?
Boss: No.
Worker: Some of the guys are going snowmobiling and I wanted to meet up with them…
Boss: What do you think this is, a resort?
Worker: If it were a resort, I wouldn’t have to leave; there’d be things to do.

900 Simpson Street
Saint Paul, Minnesota

Woman: See [Jane]. See [Jane] spaz. Spaz, [Jane], spaz.

640 Opperman Drive
Eagan, Minnesota

Overheard by: Cubicle Sam

Employee #1, looking at t-shirt designed by Daisy Fuentes with a spanish word printed on it: God, when did Daisy Fuentes become Spanish?
Employee #2: Hasn't she always been Spanish?
Employee #1: No! She thinks she's so cool she can just decide to be Spanish one day.
Employee #2: But her last name sounds Spanish.
Employee #1, pronouncing it wrong: Fuentes? Whatever, that isn't Spanish. She's so fake. God, I hate people that are fake.

Kohl's Department Store
Minnesota

Overheard by: Expect Great Things

Office gal: No, that goes in vertically.
Office guy: Vertically? Where? Here?
Office gal: No, in the little hole.
Office guy: What? No way!
Office gal: Yeah, you gotta fanagle it a little bit to get the gap to open up, so you can stick it in there.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: That's what she said?…

Battleaxe: You know, pretty soon we’ll start to see refugees from New Orleans at this school…I’d rather that than the Muslims.

695 Park Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Carl Limbacher

Co-worker #1: Man, New Orleans has sure turned into something out of Lord Of The Rings.
Co-worker #2: Don’t you mean Lord Of The Flies?

800 Hennepin Ave S
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Co-worker #1: I know why the sales tax isn’t calculating right at our New England site. Nobody entered New England’s sales tax.
Co-worker #2: What?
Co-worker #1: Yeah, we just need to enter the sales tax rate for the state of New England.
Co-worker #2: New England isn’t a state.
Co-worker #1: Ha, ha! Yeah, right!

1 Merrill Circle
St. Paul, Minnesota

Central office tech: I'm not really sure how it works. I don't play with it very often.

Phone Company
Moorhead, Minnesota

Overheard by: Lord Baddkitty