Customer service girl eating from Christmas popcorn tin: Ew! These are sterile!
6141 Riverside Drive
Riverside, California
Overheard by: sylvie
Archive for the ‘Meals and Snacks’ Category
Bookstore Cafés Cause Nothing but Confusion in Australia
Coworker: Would you like some tomato sauce with that muffin?
Customer: (blank look)
Coworker: Ah, shit.
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Alaska
They Smell Like Victory!
Asian coworker, looking up abruptly: You know that smell that you get in your nose when you’re done smelling something? I smell meatballs.
St. Cloud, Minnesota
Is Body Size the Last Acceptable Prejudice? Discuss.
Coworker: Dude, what’s the best Chinese place for lunch?
Overweight secretary: Ruby Foo’s, just below us!
Coworker: Thanks! (aside) See, the whale’s good for something.
Manhattan, New York
Um, Card Game?
Head chef: You know what a cabbage is!
Other chef: (blank look)
Restaurant
Regional Queensland
Australia
The Kind Amerigo Vespucci Used to Make
Boss: Mmmm! This pizza’s good.
Employee: Oh, yeah. This deep dish one is great.
Boss: Oh, yeah. I saw that one, but it looked too weird to try.
Employee: Yeah, it’s Chicago style.
Boss: Oh, that’s why. I like just good old American-style pizza.
Frost Bank Building
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: dizzle
When My Body Does Queef/ ‘Tis Time for Some Beef
Receptionist on phone: My body always tells me when it’s time for a piece of beef.
Fairchild Court
Plainview, New York
First They Came for the Trans-Fats and I Didn’t Speak up
Writer: ‘Portly’ sounds cute. Sounds like a nice, bald, fat man in a three-piece suit.
Designer: ‘Portly’ sounds like someone with grease stains on their shirt from dropping a piece of chicken.
Writer: That’s not ‘portly!’ That’s obese!
Designer: What’s the difference?
Writer: Obese is like those Subway ads before Jared lost his weight. When he was all wild-eyed and savage. Clothes all stretched out, nothing laundered, brimming with Big Macs and Crisco sandwhiches.
Designer: They should outlaw Crisco. Just straight out make it a crime.
Writer: Yeah.
16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona
1PM Lunch
Boss: Where did that report go? I have a meeting in less than ten minutes! Where did you put that report?…I just had it! Why do you keep hiding things on me?
Secretary: Look in your briefcase.
Boss: It’s not in my briefcase! I just looked in it! Why would it be in my briefcase?
Secretary: Because you just put it in there, dumbass.
Boss: No, I didn’t! I would know if it’s in my briefcase!
Secretary: You sure?
Boss: Yes! I’m positive! I know it’s not…Oh, here it is.
Secretary: And where was it…?
Boss: In my briefcase.
Secretary: Dumbass…go to your meeting and stop bugging me.
Boss: I have to buy you lunch again, don’t I?
Secretary: Yep. And don’t even think that Burger King is going to cut it this time.
One Penn Plaza
New York, NY
Overheard by: mshorty
3PM Snack Break
Co-worker #1: Hey, did you all bring in cookies?
Co-worker #2: God, you’re like a shark when there’s blood in the water.
3701 Wayzata Boulevard
Minneapolis, Minnesota
