Attorney: Wait until I get into my fecal matter/colon thing.
New York City, New York
Attorney: Wait until I get into my fecal matter/colon thing.
New York City, New York
Secretary: Oh wow, these are good.
Attorney: What are you eating?
Secretary: They are meatless meatballs.
Attorney: So essentially, you’re just eating balls.
1050 Thomas Jefferson Street NW
Washington, DC
Attorney on phone: Well, I’m really sorry you’re going to jail. But you still need to pay our bill.
110 North Washington Street
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Odd
Partner: Fuck that!…Fuck you! I am not cheap! I want what’s rightfully my client’s!
200 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: GJG
Lawyer #1: I now ask that this binder be admitted into evidence.
Lawyer #2: We would object to that, Your Honor.
Judge: What is your basis for introducing this into evidence?
Lawyer #1: The “moving things along faster” basis.
Judge: Denied.
500 Pearl Street
New York, NY
Legal assistant #1: Do you know Andy Samberg?
Legal assistant #2: Yes.
Legal assistant #1: What was his other song? Not “I'm on a boat”…
Legal assistant #2: “Jizz in my pants”?
Legal assistant #1: Oh, I thought it was “jizz on my face”. Wait… Am I on speakerphone?
Legal assistant #2: Yes.
(office erupts in laughter)
Irvine, California
Overheard by: Legal Amusement
Legal eagle #1: What’s this little ‘C’ in a circle next to a year supposed to mean?
Legal eagle #2: That’s the year the company that published that got its corporate seal.
Legal eagle #1: Oh, okay.
3400 North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Doctor Whom
Attorney: I heard [the client] was whiny.
Client in waiting room: I’m whiny because I’m sick and this is the first time I’ve left the house.
Attorney: Oh shit.
110 N. Washington Street
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Joan
Lawyer on phone: Ya know, I wasn’t really paying attention to what you were saying, but I am leaning towards agreeing with you.
St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: IWNDRY