Language barrier

Customer: Last week I bought two of these toy bulldozers for my nephews, and I’d like to exchange this one for a backhoe.
CSR: Okay.
Customer: Would you like me to go back to the toy department and get the other one?
CSR: No, I’ll page and have someone bring one up here for you. [Over intercom] Attention, Toy Department. Will someone please bring a black ho to the service desk? I repeat, we need a black ho at the service desk.

Value City
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Did that really just happen?

Tech: Did you speak a lot of German?
Office girl, just back from England: Um, I don't speak German.
Tech: Oh, so they all speak English over there?
Office girl: No, I just didn't go to Germany.

Fresno, California

WASP: I know what that says! It’s written in Jewish!
Bagel wench: Yiddish?
WASP: Are you Jewish?

Noah’s Bagels, Manhattan Beach Boulevard
Manhattan Beach, California

Overheard by: just wants to make bagels in peace

Suit #1: He’s from England, from some place called Portsmouth. I think it’s spelled P-O-R-T-S-M-I-T-H, but it’s pronounced like Ports Mouth.
Suit #2: Wait. Is it Ports Mouth, or Ports Smith?
Suit #1: I don’t know. It’s some place in Europe, I think.

Hotel
Kowloon, Hong Kong
China

Overheard by: Embarrassed American

Black employee #1: I been assin’ for a raise and assin’ for a raise, but I ain’t gettin’ any.
Black employee #2: See, that’s your problem — the way you talk. You don’t say assin’ for a raise, you say, ‘I been axin’ for a raise.’

Men’s room
Torrance, California

Tour guide: And this here is what we call a “grotto,” from the French word for “water.”

Secret Caverns
Cobleskill, New York

Office drone #1: Did you see how Anderson completely took over the meeting? It was like a crudités.
Office drone #2: Wait… it was like celery sticks??
Office drone #3: I think he means a “coup d'état”

Sacramento, California

Overheard by: Drunk Drama Queen

Engineer #1: So, Tom*, I'm going to need you to get me up to date on all of these projects before you leave.
Engineer #2: Yes, I think a Vulcan mind meld is the best option.

Hill Field, Utah

Overheard by: Snickering Intern

Redneck employee: So, what do you call a quesadilla?
Latina employee: Quesadilla.
Redneck employee: Really? Just ‘quesadilla’?
Latina employee: [Silence.]Redneck employee: How do you say ‘salt’?
Latina employee: [Walks away.]

1720 Indian Trail Lilburn Road
Norcross, Georgia

Engineer #1: The error is not repeatable.
Engineer #2: Not repeatable?
Engineer #1: Not repeatable.

Poughkeepsie, New York