Guy #1: She was hurt pretty bad in a car wreck a few years ago. She told me she hurt her knee, her back, and her brain.
Guy #2: Wait… So you have been pursuing a girl that has brain damage?
Guy #1: Hey, her vagina works.
571 South Floyd Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Professor: America is a melting pot.
Dude: America is not a melting pot… It’s more of a Lunchable. We are all in the same place, but we keep to our own little compartments.
1906 College Heights Boulevard
Bowling Green, Kentucky
Overheard by: hyacinth_hunter
Supervisor: Okay, let me give you some advice. I’ve seen a lot of Lifetime movies, and–
Employee: You know, I think I gotta ask someone else about this. Thanks, though!
107 Jackson Street
Berea, Kentucky
Attorney: My head hurts, my mouth tastes like crap, I haven’t shaved in four days and my suit is wrinkled. I think I’m hung over.
Secretary: Well, what do you have to do today?
Attorney: DUI hearing to try and get [Leonard] off the hook.
319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky
Woman on phone: I was supposed to make the business card English on one side and Japanese on the other, and I put Chinese…and I apologize for it, it was dishonest of me…I didn’t think anyone would notice…but I’m a Christian person and I don’t want to die and go to hell, I’d rather apologize and make it right and go to heaven…I know it’s a little thing but I’m a Christian…
2301 South Third Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Peon #1: Where’s Kevin* today?
Peon #2: What is it, Thursday? Guess it depends on whether he’s black or gay today.
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Blonde: Oh, you can’t make the appointment tomorrow?
Older lady: No, I have a rehearsal dinner tomorrow.
Blonde: Oh, wow! What play are you in?
Older lady: No, a rehearsal dinner is for a wedding.
Blonde: Oh! … Why do you have to rehearse dinner?
Westport Road
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Glad I’m not blonde
Manager: Why does it smell like salami in here?
Tech: I ran out of milk, so I had to have salami for breakfast.
Manager: Uhh…what?
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: fleeing from the salami stench
Worker, rushing into boss’s office: Guess what I just got the kids for Christmas! It’s hand sanitizer for kids and it’s called “cooter killer.“
Boss: (stares)
Worker: I mean, “cootie killer”!
Hopkinsville, Kentucky
Overheard by: will1966
Boss: You know that project we just finished?
Lackey: Yes.
Boss: We need a project plan that details what we did, how we did it, and how long it took.
Lackey: Um, I don’t know that.
Boss: Me neither, but the client will be here in an hour and they want to see a plan.
10000 Linn Station Road
Louisville, Kentucky
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist