Overheard In The Office

Archive for the ‘Gripes’ Category

3PM Coffee Break

Receptionist: So this guy calls for [Kyle]…I give him the voice mail. I knew the next ring would be him…he calls back. “I’m trying to get ahold of [Kyle] and I keep getting an answer machine.”…Gah!…That’s what happens when we pay 10K for a phone
system so people get their messages. So then the prick is like, “So is he there or isn’t he?” And so I’m like, “Yes sir, I realize
that you keep getting his voicemail. He is with a client, and all
messages go straight to our agents via voicemail.” And he’s like,
“Well, I don’t want to leave a damn message, you tell [him and
his wife] they just lost out on a sale! I guess they’re too busy
for me!” So then I’m all kiss-ass and like, “Well, I’m sorry sir, they are both with clients at the moment. We are a busy office. Would you like me to take a message?” And then he tells me, “No, just never mind and it’s their loss.” I hate stupid people.
Assistant: Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for
anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push
them down a flight of stairs.

M‑28 East
Munising, Michigan

“Oh, so she is that qualified!”

Office Manager: You hired her, but you haven’t interviewed anyone else. Is she that qualified?
Suit: Actually no, she doesn’t have any experience working as an engineer.
Office Manager: Then why not interview some other people and see if you find someone better?
Suit: Because I don’t feel like interviewing. Besides, she has a really nice rack so I will at least have something good to look at.

1042 Hamilton Ct.
Menlo Park, California

You Did Just Telegraph the Whole World Wide Web

Professor #1: You know what I hate? There’s never any TP in the men’s room. You have to bring your own.
Professor #2: Yeah, I know. Unless you buy it at the vending machine. 

Professor #1 unspools some paper from a roll on the coffee table.

Professor #1: I just hate using this roll. It’s like telegraphing the whole world you’ve gotta take a dump.

San 69 – 1
Churye 2‑dong, Sasang-gu
Busan City, South Korea

Overheard by: KGB

4PM Snowmobiling?

Worker: Can I take the rest of the day off?
Boss: LetmethinkaboutthatNo.
Worker: Don’t you want to hear why?
Boss: No.
Worker: Some of the guys are going snowmobiling and I wanted to meet up with them…
Boss: What do you think this is, a resort?
Worker: If it were a resort, I wouldn’t have to leave; there’d be things to do. 

900 Simpson Street
Saint Paul, Minnesota

1PM Lunch

Co-worker #1: How was your lunch?
Co-worker #2: It was okay. We had an old Greek waitress. I didn’t care for her too much.
Co-worker #1: Was it the fact that she was old or Greek?
Co-worker #2: It was a combination. Greeks are a weird people.

444 Park Avenue South
New York, NY