Intern #1: Ew, skin falls off!
Intern #2: Leprosy’s no joke, you guys.
Fashion Magazine
Manhattan, New York
Archive for the ‘General Idiocy’ Category
3PM Coffee Break
Receptionist: So this guy calls for [Kyle]…I give him the voice mail. I knew the next ring would be him…he calls back. “I’m trying to get ahold of [Kyle] and I keep getting an answer machine.”…Gah!…That’s what happens when we pay 10K for a phone
system so people get their messages. So then the prick is like, “So is he there or isn’t he?” And so I’m like, “Yes sir, I realize
that you keep getting his voicemail. He is with a client, and all
messages go straight to our agents via voicemail.” And he’s like,
“Well, I don’t want to leave a damn message, you tell [him and
his wife] they just lost out on a sale! I guess they’re too busy
for me!” So then I’m all kiss-ass and like, “Well, I’m sorry sir, they are both with clients at the moment. We are a busy office. Would you like me to take a message?” And then he tells me, “No, just never mind and it’s their loss.” I hate stupid people.
Assistant: Some people are like Slinkies: not really good for
anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push
them down a flight of stairs.
M‑28 East
Munising, Michigan
“Oh, so she is that qualified!”
Office Manager: You hired her, but you haven’t interviewed anyone else. Is she that qualified?
Suit: Actually no, she doesn’t have any experience working as an engineer.
Office Manager: Then why not interview some other people and see if you find someone better?
Suit: Because I don’t feel like interviewing. Besides, she has a really nice rack so I will at least have something good to look at.
1042 Hamilton Ct.
Menlo Park, California
Right Up There with the “Do You Need to Refrigerate Ketchup?” Debacle Of 1997
Visiting client, waiting for elevator: You’re right. Putting shampoo and conditioner in the same bottle *is* more economical.
(jittery laughter)
Manager: It just makes sense, you know? Why have two when you can have just one?
Coworker, after client and manager get in elevator: That was the worst example of small talk I have ever heard.
Chicago, Illinois
Right Next to the ‘Irony’ Button
Customer, trying to use his debit card: I gotta push “English”? “Spanish” shouldn’t be an option. If they can’t speak no English, they ain’t got no business being here. Where’s the “yes” button at?
Cashier: It’s the button that says “yes” on it.
Food Lion
Roanoke, Virginia
I Would, but That’s Just Me
Older man checking in at resort: Do I sign where it says “signature”?
Hilton Head Island, South Carolina
Just Put It In Your Pocket
CSR: So you’d like to rent a 12 foot stepladder?
Customer: Yes…How big is that?
CSR: Well, it’s about 12 feet, sir.
Customer: I can strap that on top of a cab, right?
533 Canal Street
New York, NY
5PM Here’s the Weekend
Boss #1: Well, do you have a broomstick?
Boss #2: No, but I guess I could just use my fist.
444 Spear Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: erikrand
3PM James’ Birthday Thing
Birthday: Thanks.
Office: Speech!
Birthday: I want you all to know that this is the oldest I’ve ever been.
150 River Street
Hackensack, New Jersey
12PM Reviews Due
Manager: How has his performance been since we counseled him last June?
Subordinate: He’s been real good. He did a complete 350.
7801 Park Place Road
York, South Carolina
Overheard by: K. Boss
