Overheard In The Office 2017-08-21T15:42:27Z https://overheardintheoffice.com/feed/atom/ WordPress https://overheardintheoffice.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/cropped-office-favicon-32x32.png Office <![CDATA[How Much Do You Want to Be It's About Cats Doing Something Amusing?]]> 2017-08-21T15:42:27Z 2017-08-21T15:42:27Z 60-something female coworker to another: Mary, you have to read this e-mail. It's hilarious. I'll print it out and bring it over to you. Jacksonville, Florida

Office <![CDATA[We’re Going to Get Married in December, When it Has Some Time Off]]> 2017-08-21T03:19:55Z 2017-08-21T03:19:55Z Chain-Smoker, during heat wave: Smoking does keep you active and engaged with the heat. 750 Third Avenue
New York, New York

Office <![CDATA[So You Admit It's Possible?]]> 2017-08-20T15:11:19Z 2017-08-20T15:11:19Z Coworker #1, looking at whitewater rafting photos that coworker #2 is in: Those are really good pictures, did you take them?
Coworker #2: Uh, no, I'm in the raft, so that would be kinda difficult. Beverly Hills, California

Office <![CDATA[Whipping Political Slaves Keeps the Weight in Check]]> 2017-08-20T03:02:59Z 2017-08-20T03:02:59Z Visiting European account manager: Hello [Katie], how nice to see you again. I am back for factory visit!
Chinese Sales Rep: Hi, welcome you to office again! You are look much fatter than last time! Every time, fatter and fatter!
Visiting European account manager: …yes…well…really… 188 Dong Cheng Da Dao
Dong Guan, China

Office <![CDATA[I'll Do My Best to Live Up to That. Now]]> 2017-08-19T14:51:16Z 2017-08-19T14:51:16Z Boss: You're out smoking again? I thought you were quitting?
Assistant: I start taking the Chantix tomorrow morning, smoke for a week and throw the cigarettes away and double the dose.
Boss: Okay, can I give you shit for it?
Assistant: All you want, I'll be a complete bitch and make your life hell.
Boss on intercom: Everyone, you have the next 2 months off: assistant is going to be a bigger bitch than usual. Fountain Valley, California

Office <![CDATA[And Sometimes a Boob-Squeeze As a Holiday Bonus]]> 2017-08-19T02:40:29Z 2017-08-19T02:40:29Z Cashier to saleswoman holding a box of sweets: Hey! Why didn't I get a box of sweets?
Saleswoman: Because your title isn't “manager”. He gets a hug, and maybe a little pinch on the tushy. Bedford, New York Overheard by: Black Friday Shopper

Office <![CDATA[Why the Germans Were Lost When the Berlin Wall Came Down]]> 2017-08-18T14:13:58Z 2017-08-18T14:13:58Z Boss #1: Most of our people in philanthropy are on coke… They get the work done, but the meetings are like coke conventions.
Boss #2: I had an ex-girlfriend who was always on a lot of coke. I didn’t know it, though. I thought she just had a lot of energy. Once, when she was really high, I had to throw her against a wall to snap her out of it.
Boss #1: Well, that’s what you have to do sometimes. Miami, Florida

Office <![CDATA[For Those Who Feel Bad about Quitting College]]> 2017-08-18T02:06:34Z 2017-08-18T02:06:34Z Engineer lady: The price of first class stamps is now 41 cents!
Engineer guy: If they made them in China, they’d be a lot cheaper. 3003 West Casino Road
Everett, Washington

Office <![CDATA[I Mean, How Much Tooth Enamel Do I Need?]]> 2017-08-17T13:57:33Z 2017-08-17T13:57:33Z Secretary #1: You know, purging…it's gross, but it works.
Secretary #2: Yeah, and it only takes a few weeks to work.
Secretary #3: Whatever it takes, I guess. Atlanta, Georgia

Office <![CDATA[You Just Want to See My Ore-O-Face]]> 2017-08-16T14:33:37Z 2017-08-16T14:33:37Z Coworker, discussing mint Oreos: I stuffed four of them in this morning.
Boss: Can you stuff six?
Coworker: I don't know. Maybe not at once. Baltimore, Maryland