Overheard In The Office 2018-10-21T20:17:55Z https://overheardintheoffice.com/feed/atom/ WordPress https://overheardintheoffice.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/cropped-office-favicon-32x32.png Office <![CDATA[10AM Running Late]]> 2018-10-21T20:17:55Z 2018-10-21T20:17:55Z Co-worker #1: What was that white box you were carrying?
Co-worker #2: Donuts. Why, you want one?
Co-worker #1: Yes!
Co-worker #3: Where were you?
Co-worker #1: What? Do you want donuts, too?
Co-worker #3: No, I want you to explain yourself for being late.
Co-worker #4: Yeah, you didn’t say anything when you called me at 7 this morning.
Co-worker #5: Yeah, she didn’t say anything to me last night at 11, either.

All stare at co-worker #5.

Co-worker #2: Just take the donuts and go away.
Co-worker #5: That’s what you said last night at 11, too!

401 Church Street
Nashville, Tennessee

Office <![CDATA[Now That Would Be Special.]]> 2018-10-21T07:54:14Z 2018-10-21T07:54:14Z Customer service rep: ABC* client. is being special again.
Sales manager: I want to start a drinking game where I do a shot every time Sue* calls one of our clients “special.”
Accounting rep: You'd be sooooo drunk.
Sales manager: I would die.

Fort Mill, South Carolina

Office <![CDATA[12PM Prep for Meeting]]> 2018-10-20T19:34:16Z 2018-10-20T19:34:16Z Boss: So do you think I should get 3 pies for the meeting since we have 30 people?
Worker Bee #1: Sure, 3 pies should be enough.
Worker Bee #2: I think you need more than 3.
Worker Bee #1: How many do you think we should get?
Worker Bee #2: We need 3.14159 pi.
Boss: Get out of my office. Now.

1010 Second Avenue
San Diego, California

Office <![CDATA[The Best I Can Offer Is a Latex Glove Full of Frosting]]> 2018-10-20T07:05:09Z 2018-10-20T07:05:09Z Courtesy clerk: Can I help you find something, sir?
Male customer: Yes. I need condoms and cake right now! If I can’t get one tonight, I need the other. Can you hurry?

Grocery store

Overheard by: Daphne

Office <![CDATA[Some Of Us Actually Work With Horrible People]]> 2018-10-19T18:27:56Z 2018-10-19T18:27:56Z Young, attractive woman, disgusted: There were some horrible people on my tram this morning. They smelled so bad, like a proper toilet. It was disgusting. They should at least take a shower. The government pays them like 13 grand to be homeless. Or have a baby, then you get money. They shouldn't smell like that.


Office <![CDATA[You Seem to Have Lost Your Passion for the Business]]> 2018-10-19T06:08:30Z 2018-10-19T06:08:30Z Market researcher, frustrated at client: I don’t have auto pilot Las Vegas porn attendance statistics in my brain!

Pearl District
Portland, Oregon

Office <![CDATA[I Already Have Dibs on His Stapler]]> 2018-10-18T18:05:03Z 2018-10-18T18:05:03Z Peon to boss looking for the bigger boss: He is not there. He is murdering Mike*.

New York City, New York

Overheard by: has a will

Office <![CDATA[Sigh. Story Of My Life.]]> 2018-10-18T05:22:19Z 2018-10-18T05:22:19Z Office drone, surfing the net: I can't find an image of a woman in a prison jumpsuit that would fit in a shopping cart…

Manhattan, New York

Office <![CDATA[If Dark Angel Had Been Shown on the Logo Channel]]> 2018-10-17T16:50:00Z 2018-10-17T16:50:00Z Office philosopher: Everyone's pretty much a lesbian bike messenger in Portland, anyway.

San Diego, California

Office <![CDATA[I Did Watch Every Season Of Veronica's Closet, If That's What You Mean]]> 2018-10-17T04:43:25Z 2018-10-17T04:43:25Z Straight cube-dweller, about hole punch: Well, it shouldn't go there. It should be out in the open on the desk where I can see it.
Gay cube-dweller: What, you couldn't see it sitting there?
Straight cube-dweller: Well, it lives on my desk, not in the closet.
Gay cube-dweller: It's a shelf above your desk, not a closet.
Straight cube-dweller: Well, you would know more about closets than shelves, wouldn't you?

West Lafayette, Indiana