Overheard In The Office 2019-06-20T03:04:28Z https://overheardintheoffice.com/feed/atom https://overheardintheoffice.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/cropped-office-favicon-32x32.png Office <![CDATA[The Car Deserved to Die]]> 2019-06-20T03:04:28Z 2019-06-20T03:04:28Z Cube guy: … And what did you say?
Cube girl: I told her he never deserved her in the first place.
Cube guy: That’s for sure.
Cube girl: And frankly, the smartest thing she ever did was put that bullet in his car.
Cube guy: I know!

350 Madison Avenue
New York, New York

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Office <![CDATA[But Could You Go Back to Licking the Stamps?]]> 2019-06-19T14:31:09Z 2019-06-19T14:31:09Z 20-something female coworker: Since I stopped smoking I can smell better, I even taste better…hey, I bet I taste better, too.
50-something male coworker: I hope!

Indianapolis, Indiana

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Office <![CDATA[I Had An…uh…Lobotomy]]> 2019-06-19T01:52:39Z 2019-06-19T01:52:39Z These are all from the same coworker.

Overheard on phone: I am going to need you to help me because this is not information that is readily available in my…uh…brain.

In a meeting while it was snowing outside: This reminds me of growing up in New York…I mean…Vermont.

Another meeting: The last thing we want to do is provide an immediate response to an immediate question.

522 SW 5th
Portland, Oregon

Overheard by: Breanna Freeman

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Office <![CDATA[Probably Time to Go Out for a Smoke]]> 2019-06-18T13:47:00Z 2019-06-18T13:47:00Z Guy #1: You know what's a bad way to go? Velociraptors.
Guy #2: I'm not afraid of them anymore. I'd say the T-Rex is worse.
Guy #1: Come on–everybody chooses the man-eating tiger.
Guy #2: Or ape.
(pause)
Guy #1: I wouldn't mind working on a farm.

Victoria
BC
Canadia

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Office <![CDATA[Think Of Your Computer As a Chick at a Bar…]]> 2019-06-18T01:29:22Z 2019-06-18T01:29:22Z CSR, on phone with customer: I'm sorry, but that's not a confirmation code. That's the word “denied.”

Bryan, Texas

Overheard by: Jax

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Office <![CDATA[Plus, Their Prior Behavior Had Been Exemplary]]> 2019-06-17T13:01:26Z 2019-06-17T13:01:26Z Professor: Does anyone have questions about the importance of the flood myth in the Bible and the Epic of Gilgamesh?
Student: Well, when it flooded and everything died, what happened to all the fish?
Professor: Well, it was a flood… So I think they were okay…

Skidmore College
Saratoga Springs, New York

Overheard by: Stared in disbelief

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Office <![CDATA[We Reserve the Right to Refuse Service to Everyone]]> 2019-06-17T00:38:57Z 2019-06-17T00:38:57Z Customer: I think you're making that up.
Employee: I think you're trespassing.

Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia

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Office <![CDATA[…Given Your Beard Stubble and Bowie Knife]]> 2019-06-16T12:17:08Z 2019-06-16T12:17:08Z Casting assistant: …I mean… If you’re not going to type your letter, you might want to make sure that your handwriting doesn’t make you look like a serial killer.

Diamond Street
Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: Tigertail

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Office <![CDATA[A Few Are Really Overweight]]> 2019-06-15T23:54:59Z 2019-06-15T23:54:59Z Study abroad agent: We currently have 10 students in dozens of countries.

Colorado Springs, Colorado

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Office <![CDATA[By Loudly Reading Out Calorie Counts]]> 2019-06-15T11:35:23Z 2019-06-15T11:35:23Z Case manager #1: We need to go to McDonald's.
Case manager #2: What are we gonna get?
Case manager #1: No, just to scare the kids.

San Antonio, Texas

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