Overheard In The Office 2018-03-23T07:01:58Z https://overheardintheoffice.com/feed/atom/ WordPress https://overheardintheoffice.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/cropped-office-favicon-32x32.png Office <![CDATA[Oh No, My PayPal Account Is Empty! How Will I Pay This Strapping Young IT Guy?]]> 2018-03-23T07:01:58Z 2018-03-23T07:01:58Z Tech guy: I need to update your microscope software, have you seen the dongle?
Grad student: Um… Excuse me?
Tech guy: I need to plug the dongle in to get access to your machine.
Grad student: Uh… What would… That… Look like?
Tech guy: Oh wait, never mind, I see it. Thanks!
[Tech guy leaves.]Grad student, to undergrad nearby: What the hell was he talking about?
Undergrad: I don’t know, but I feel like we were about ten seconds away from being in a very nerdy porno.

North Charles Street
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat

Office <![CDATA[This Dramatization of the Importance of Negative Numbers is the Grittiest Schoolhouse Rock Yet]]> 2018-03-22T18:47:47Z 2018-03-22T18:47:47Z CSR: Customer Service, this is Sheri*. May I have your account number please?
Customer: Why is my account negative?!
CSR: Well, if you give me your account number, I can look it up and go over your transactions with you.

Customer gives information, CSR verifies, and the conversation continues.

CSR: Well, ma’am, looks like your opening deposit on Tuesday was 25 dollars… And then you withdrew 40 dollars from the ATM on Friday.
Customer: And…?
CSR: Well, 25 dollars minus 40 dollars is negative 15 dollars.
Customer: I don’t understand what you are trying to tell me.

Minneapolis, Minnesota

Office <![CDATA[You've Always Struck Me As More Of a Swallower]]> 2018-03-22T06:30:49Z 2018-03-22T06:30:49Z Supervisor to staff member: Leave me alone or I will spit my nastiness on you.

Mclean, Virginia

Office <![CDATA[Mmmm, Poisonberry…]]> 2018-03-21T18:12:41Z 2018-03-21T18:12:41Z Office bimbette: Did you use your new pen yet? Did you smell it?

New York City, New York

Office <![CDATA[He Just Doesn’t Have the Underwearwithal]]> 2018-03-21T05:49:39Z 2018-03-21T05:49:39Z Woman: I haven’t talked to Henry* in a week. I’m through with him.
Man: Why? What happened?
Woman: He’s sooo selfish. He took the last t-shirt out of my drawer and wore it.
Man: That’s it? Dumped him over a t-shirt?
Woman: I texted him and told him we’re through.
Man: Wow. Dumped over a Hanes.
Woman: Yep. Infidelity I forgave, but don’t take my last goddamned t-shirt out of my fuckin’ drawer. Selfish!

45 South Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Office <![CDATA[Hold on a Sec–Can You Order Me a Pizza?]]> 2018-03-20T17:44:27Z 2018-03-20T17:44:27Z Radiologist receptionist to dermatology patient with the wrong number: I'm sorry, I think you have the wrong number. Dr. Green's office is just down the hall; the extension is 1234. You're welcome. Buh-bye.
(pause, then answers again)
Receptionist: No, you've got the wrong extension again. Dr. Green is at 1234. It's no problem. You're welcome. Buh-bye.
(pause, then answers again)
Receptionist: Good morning. (pause) Of course, hold on just one moment, please. (dials extension #1234) Hi, I'm calling to confirm Mrs Brown's appointment to have her hairy mole removed. 11:30 am? Thank you so much. (on the other line) The doctor will see you at 11:30 tomorrow morning. Yes ma'am, buh-bye now.

Norwalk, Connecticut

Overheard by: EmLo

Office <![CDATA[I Have a Delicate Constitution]]> 2018-03-20T05:34:41Z 2018-03-20T05:34:41Z Office peon: When I was little I Dream of Jeannie always made me tense. I think it was the chaos.

25 South Front Street
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: emf

Office <![CDATA[With My Dreds]]> 2018-03-19T16:44:18Z 2018-03-19T16:44:18Z Admin: You need a haircut.
Service guy: I need to go club some baby seals.

Irvine, California

Overheard by: i just answer the phone…

Office <![CDATA[I Could Have Stayed Home and Done That]]> 2018-03-19T04:28:29Z 2018-03-19T04:28:29Z Visiting consultant: I think we saw every public restroom in San Francisco. Just what I wanted — a urine-filled holiday.

5760 Highway 80 East
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Office <![CDATA[You Say They Have Computers That Do That Now? Here, I’ll Give You a Push]]> 2018-03-18T16:02:34Z 2018-03-18T16:02:34Z Male employee: Oh, I’m sorry. I could’ve scared you and you could’ve fallen.
Female employee sitting in an open, screenless window: That’s okay, you didn’t scare me.
Male employee: You look like you’re going to jump. Please don’t jump out the window. We really need someone to answer the phones.

98th Street and West End
New York, New York

Overheard by: adrienne