Overheard In The Office 2018-06-18T04:50:39Z https://overheardintheoffice.com/feed/atom/ WordPress https://overheardintheoffice.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/cropped-office-favicon-32x32.png Office <![CDATA[Ummm, What Were We Talking About?]]> 2018-06-18T04:50:39Z 2018-06-18T04:50:39Z Manager: How could you let this happen?
Clerk: I forgot.
Manager: You forgot? How could you forget? It’s so hard to forget! It’s easy to remember and hard to forget! Remember that! Haven’t you ever forgotten something and you tried to remember it? That’s how easy it is to remember!

1618 Main St.
Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Ydnas

]]>
Office <![CDATA[Unique (adj.): Unlike Anyone or Anything Else]]> 2018-06-17T16:11:47Z 2018-06-17T16:11:47Z Sales guy: We’re going to go around the room and name unique things about [the company]. If you can’t think of one when it’s your turn, you have to sit down. The last person standing wins a gift card to Starbucks.
Drone #1: Trustworthy.
Drone #2: Resilient.
Drone #3: Global services.
Drone #4: Inspiring.
Drone #5: Focused.
Drone #6: Capabilities.
Drone #7: Multicultural.
Drone #8: People care.
Drone #9: Adaptability.
Drone #1: Secure.
Drone #2: Employer of choice.
Drone #3: Financial viability.
Drone #4: Responsive.
Drone #5: Integrity.
Drone #6: Straightforward.
Drone #7: Ambitious.
Drone #8: Expertise.
Drone #9: Innovative.
Drone #1: Reliable.
etc…

350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY

]]>
Office <![CDATA[12PM Server Upgrades]]> 2018-06-17T03:47:43Z 2018-06-17T03:47:43Z Server support: The server is still taking errors?
Network support: Okay?
Server support: Did you run the new cable we asked for?
Network Support: Yes.
Server support: Are you sure you ran it to the correct server?
Network support: Yes.
Server support: Did you test the cable?
Network support: Yes.
Server support: How did you test it?
Network support: I farted on one end and I could smell it on the other.

1600 Dublin Road
Columbus, Ohio

]]>
Office <![CDATA[Isn't That a Garth Brooks Song?]]> 2018-06-16T15:37:46Z 2018-06-16T15:37:46Z Major gifts officer to communications officer: I used to have a seersucker suit, Jane. Until someone stole it from my jeep wrangler!

Chicago, Illinois

]]>
Office <![CDATA[9AM What’ll It Be Today?]]> 2018-06-16T03:14:28Z 2018-06-16T03:14:28Z Co-worker: Ugh! Easter’s on a Sunday this year!

6300 West Loop Freeway S
Bellaire, Texas

]]>
Office <![CDATA[My Money’s Still on the Chimpanzee]]> 2018-06-15T14:35:53Z 2018-06-15T14:35:53Z IT guy: Who do you think would win in a fight, Daffy or Donald Duck?
Sales manager: Hmmm…
IT guy: You know, never mind. You’re too biased.

Union Square
New York, New York

]]>
Office <![CDATA[9AM Back to Work]]> 2018-06-15T02:10:55Z 2018-06-15T02:10:55Z Boss: I sent you an email.
Assistant: Oh, thanks.
Pause
Boss: You going to read it?
Assistant: No, I don’t do emails anymore. I gave that up.
Boss: Hmmm…. I like that. “I don’t do emails anymore”. I like that. I’m going to go with it.
Assistant: Yeah, it’s working for me so far.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

]]>
Office <![CDATA[How Was Your Staff Meeting?]]> 2018-06-14T14:02:31Z 2018-06-14T14:02:31Z Female talking to male co-worker: It was like something out of a V.C. Andrews novel. The one where the brother and sister were locked in the attic and were fucking each other.

Congress Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Overheard by: Frank

]]>
Office <![CDATA[The Unhappiest of Endings]]> 2018-06-14T01:52:25Z 2018-06-14T01:52:25Z Co-worker #1: There’s a massage therapist in my building.
Co-worker #2: Do you think she’s a prostitute?
Co-worker #1: I don’t think so. She lives with her parents.

251 W. 57th Street
New York, NY

]]>
Office <![CDATA[Hot!]]> 2018-06-13T13:45:05Z 2018-06-13T13:45:05Z Professor: Whoever taught you to write like this should be flogged with your severed writing arm.

Houston, Texas

]]>