Dumb Employees

Lady peon #1: Chipotle’s burritos are, like, so good!
Lady peon #2: Yeah, I know. Carol*, have you ever had one?
Carol: Uh, I’ve never been out of the country…

5813 South Kenwood Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: wow

Co-worker #1: How do you spell “pseudo”?
Co-worker #2: S-U–
Co-worker #1: That doesn’t seem right. Is there an H?

270 Sylvan Avenue
Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey

Desk monkey #1: I heard she and her boyfriend had Brazilian waxes done together. The man’s treatment is called the ‘free willy wax.’
Desk monkey #2: Oooh! Can you do that? I mean, you can’t wax a man’s balls!

Netherlands

Overheard by: Ouch!

Male grunt: If my mouse stops working, I’m going to go home.
Female grunt: Well, did you try jiggling it?
Male grunt: Yeah, I jiggled the shit out of it. [Female grunt giggles.]

Foggy Bottom
Washington, DC

Male worker to female lunch companion: See, the good thing about you is that you can really pack it in. I mean, most girls can’t do that.

12th and G Street NW
Washington, DC

Overheard by: i like to eat too

Customer: Hi, can I get hold of Czech crowns here?
Bank flunky: Uhh…What was his first name again?

ASB Bank, Great North Road
Auckland, New Zealand

Clerk trying to price-check produce: Now, how is it you spell cucumber? Is that with a K or a Q?

Supermarket
Biloxi, Mississippi

President: You really need to stop asking so many questions and start figuring things out for yourself, especially when you are out producing jobs.
Worker: You’re right, I realize that. I’m trying harder.
President: And about this job you worked Saturday night; did you know what you were doing there?
Worker: To be honest, I wasn’t sure on some things.
President: Well, did you ask anyone what your role was supposed to be? If you don’t know something you really need to start asking questions. People are here to help you.

200 West 57th Street
New York, NY

Employee: Hey, it’s The Bobster! I was just out–
Bob: Seriously, why did you just add “the” and “ster” to my name?

27450 Ynez Road
Temecula, California

Overheard by: Jake Glazier

Sergeant: I need you to call an ambulance for a 32-year-old pregnant woman.
Control room operator: What do I tell them is wrong with her?
Sergeant: Well, she’s pregnant!

Clark County Detention Center
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: cro