Customer: I don’t understand why I can’t book a flight for the 1st
of January 2007.
Travel Agent: That’s because our schedules are only published 350 days in advance.
Customer: I know that, so why can’t I book the flight today? There’s
360 days in the year, so logically the seats can be booked today.
Travel Agent: Because that would be 365 days in the year, sir.
225 Bath Street
Glasgow, Scotland
Client on speaker: I need one of those lights that you put on the camera, and a metal thing, and also the curly thing.
Rental Department: So you need a flash, a stroboframe bracket and the off-camera cord?
Client on speaker: Yeah, sure, I guess. Oh, and do you have one of these things that see the light?
Rental Department: A flash meter you mean?
Client on speaker: Sure, I guess.
Rental Department: Sir, are you the photographer?
Client on speaker: Yes, why?
1111 North Cherry Street
Chicago, Illinois
Customer: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Vietnam?
Employee: Um…no?
2063 Camden Avenue
San Jose, California
Worker: First, go to the website. [says URL]Customer: Do I need to go online first?
Maryland
Bagger: What kind of bag would you like?
Dismissive shopper: You pick. I haven’t been here in a while, so I don’t know what the options are.
7504 Aurora Avenue North
Seattle, Washington
Receptionist: Hello! Thank you for calling Avon Safety*, where safety comes first. How may I direct your call?
Voice #1: How do I direct the call?
Voice #2: [indecipherable]Voice #1: I don’t know. That’s all it says…
Receptionist: Hello? This is not a recording.
Voice #1: She said it’s a recording.
Receptionist: No! This is not a recording! Hello?
Voice #1: What do I do?
Voice #2: Hang up.
Avon, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Fae
Customer, trying to use his debit card: I gotta push “English”? “Spanish” shouldn’t be an option. If they can’t speak no English, they ain’t got no business being here. Where’s the “yes” button at?
Cashier: It’s the button that says “yes” on it.
Food Lion
Roanoke, Virginia
Older man checking in at resort: Do I sign where it says “signature”?
Hilton Head Island, South Carolina
CSR: So you’d like to rent a 12 foot stepladder?
Customer: Yes…How big is that?
CSR: Well, it’s about 12 feet, sir.
Customer: I can strap that on top of a cab, right?
533 Canal Street
New York, NY
Spikey-haired waiter: I'll be right back with your check.
Cranky old man: I hope all his hair falls out!
Wife: Calm down!
Cranky old man: It's a fad!
(spikey-haired waiter brings check)
Cranky old man: Oh! Mints!
Kalamazoo, Michigan
