Drinking

Vet: Is Amanda* upstairs?
Amanda*: No, I'm downstairs.
Vet: Oh, she is? Okay, hold on.
(vet goes downstairs)
Amanda*: Did that really happen?
Vet tech: I dunno. I want a beer.

Veterinary Clinic
Mahattan, New York

Overheard by: Vicksburg

85-year-old client: I’ve been sick all morning but I’ll tell you what: the best way to cure diarrhea is by drinking wine!
Sales manager on phone: Oh… Um… Really?

Hotel
Dulles, Virginia

Overheard by: Rather Disgusted

Minister: At least I know where I'm going when I die… Heaven.
Drunk worker: Yeah, I'm going there too.
Minister: You gotta change first.
Drunk worker: I know, I just did…

Jacksonville, Florida

Overheard by: Derrick McClure

Guy in next cube: I told her that if she came at me like that again, I'd cut her tits off… Yeah, I seriously told her that…well, I was drinking heavily.

Warren, Michigan

Overheard by: Scared for my tits

Executive in meeting: Oh, you brought cold water?
Assistant: Yes, ice water.
Executive: Very nice! Where'd you find ice?
Assistant: In the freezer.

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Christine

Fat manager: I'm sweating Diet Coke and doughnuts.

Charlottesville, Virginia

Female #1: Actually, me and my ex had a drink together a few weeks ago.
Female #2: I'm impressed at your ability to stay friends with your exes.
Female #1: No, he's the only one. That I dated. I'm friends with a lot of people that I've done…”business” with.
Female #2: I… I have to go.

Mississauga
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Creeped Out

Claims adjuster: Can we go to your office? I need to discuss something. And I'll bring the kegs. Where are the kegs? They were just here.

McKinley Square
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Receptionist

Boss: Who made the coffee this morning?
Underling, defensively: Why?

Navy Yard
Washington, DC

Coworker: I think heaven will be like one big open bar.

Jenkintown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Even in context it was awesome