Staff doctor to resident: You did a pelvic and you didn’t charge for it? Girl, if you look at the coochie you gotta charge for it!
2955 Farnam Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Archive for the ‘Doctors’ Category
Let’s Avoid the Page on Sperm Whales
Five-year-old girl, reading book about whales: Hey mom, does a baby whale really come out of a mama whale’s butt?
Mom: Hmmm…
Hygienist: Oh my god, did anyone else hear that?
Dentist Office
Augusta, Georgia
Our Workplace Is Fraught With Peril Since Grey’s Anatomy Debuted
Nurse to paramedic pushing stretcher and IV pole: Would you like me to guide your pole?
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Deena
…Followed by Cake
Physical therapist: Where did you get the cake?
Teacher: BJ’s.
Physical therapist: Oh! I love BJ’s!
Manhattan, New York
But an Underling with a Dirty Back Might Be Okay as Well
Surgeon: So, you’re dating a nurse… What kind?
PA #1: Beats the hell out of me… I’m just hoping she’s a head nurse — you know, with dirty knees.
PA #2: Awesome.
Hospital
Western Pennsylvania
Any Excuse to Tell That Story
Nurse: She’s been so much better today. Chatty. She still walks around like this [puts chin to chest], but she came up to me and was like, “How are you today?” I said, “Huh? Oh, I’m fine!” Maybe it’s the Celexa.
Psychiatrist: Actually we’re weaning her off the Celexa. We started her on Effexor.
Nurse: Oh, well, maybe that’s it.
Psychiatrist: She’s only been on it one day. That wouldn’t really be long enough.
Nurse: No, that’s not… Celexa… I think I was taking that when I got into a fight at the airport. You know those guys with the M‑16s? Well, I told this one bitch I was gonna jump over the counter and take her out.
Girl: That was Celexa?
Nurse, smiling: Yeah.
Oregon State Hospital
Salem, Oregon
Exactly How Remains Between You and God
Anesthesiologist to orderly at computer: What’s my schedule look like?
Orderly to anesthesiologist: At 3 o’clock you get to knock that woman out.
Hospital
New York City, New York
And More Besides
Doctor to inmate: So what are they accusing you of this time?
Inmate: Oh, they’re not accusing me, I did it.
County Jail Medical Office
Evansville, Indiana
Overheard by: Molly
It Comes and Goes
Patient: I’m worried about this birthmark.
Doctor: Birthmark, you say? How long have you had it?
Portland, Oregon
I Have the Brain Injury; It Doesn’t Have Me
Very upset patient to patient coordinator: People think that because I have a severe brain injury I don’t know what I am talking about.
Atlanta, Georgia
