Op: You know what would make a great pet?
Ernie: No, what?
Op: A badger.
Ernie: Yeah, great. Great at ripping human flesh off.
Op: Exactly, burglar protection.
Ernie: No, I was talking about your flesh.
Op: Oh… I can take it.
Boston, Massachusetts
Archive for the ‘Default’ Category
Especially with Buzz Aldrin Chewing Your Ear Off
Voice in next cubicle: I forgot how much I hate space travel.
Fort Leavenworth, Kansas
…Metaphorically Speaking
Boss: Six months ago I was in pajamas with a bong!
W 1st Street
Los Angeles, California
Behind the Flowering Ficus
Patient: Where’s the bathroom?
Receptionist: On your way out, you can just go in that corner.
Dentist’s Office
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Avoiding the corner
The Bitch Promises, but Never Delivers
Federal employee to coworker in ladies’ room: Darlene, how long is a dog pregnant?
L’Enfant Plaza
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Just a contractor
An SOW, an RFP, and Thou Beside Me in the Shipyard
Supervisor to contractor: What can I do to turn you on?
Shipyard
San Diego, California
Overheard by: sarah
Not Even a Mint on the Seat?
Manager leaving toilet stall, to next person in line: Don’t worry — I didn’t leave anything in there.
473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey
Overheard by: office peon
NewsFlash: Canadia’s Economy Mysteriously Falters!
Geeky cashier: How are you pay’n for this?
Guy in a hurry: Cash.
Geeky cashier: Like cash, cash?
Guy in a hurry: What?
Best Buy
Newmarket
Ontario, Canadia
Okay, Now What Does This “Crittle” Key Do?
Caller: I can’t seem to log into my account.
CS rep: Have you entered your username and password into the login fields?
Caller: Yes, I have.
CS rep: Okay now press the enter key.
Caller: Where’s the enter key?
Earthlink Customer Service
San Jose, California
He Was a Scumbag’s Scumbag
Feisty secretary: Man, could that man spit!
Newcastle, Delaware
Overheard by: What else could he do?
