Boss: [Elizabeth], we wish you the best. You are a nice person and if you ever want to come back to work here, you are welcome. Now where is [Rachel]? [Rachel], do you want to say a few words? Because I can only comment on [Elizabeth] as a person, not her work.
1425 New York Avenue NW
Washington, DC
Loner geek, answering phone: The Phoenix rises at 3 pm. (hangs up phone)
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Bec215
Manager #1: My kids SUCK at arts and crafts.
Manager #2: No glitter? No glue? No macaroni or popsicle sticks?
Manager #1: Holy shit, no. They are the epitome of suck.
West Irving Park Road
Roselle, Illinois
White HR director: I’ve never touched someone’s head like that before! I touched it, and it was all wavy. I told him, you’re the first African-American person’s head I’ve ever touched. You should feel honored.
8900 Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Just an office girl…
Recruiter for aid programs in Afghanistan: I talked with one Mark Johnson* — an 82-year-old WWII vet. He doesn’t hear well, but would love to see some combat. I told him that I would see what we could arrange.
Manager: Ummm…
Recruiter: Dude, sarcasm?
7250 Woodmont Avenue
Bethesda, Maryland
Coworker: If you’re gonna do it, do it hard so I can’t breathe.
113 East Carroll Street
Salisbury, Maryland
Exec #1: Should we offer 5gb or 25gb packages?
Exec #2: I am in favor of larger packages…
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Slomojamma
New hire: Can't we maybe be more optimistic about the sales projections?
Boss: Optimism? Optimism? Optimism is just lack of information.
Washington, DC
Congressional staffer in hallway, in low voice: I gotta be careful who's around… It might be dangerous to be overheard.
House of Representatives Office Building
Washington, DC
Weird guy: Hey, has anyone ever been tased?
Government Office
Washington, DC
