9AM I Swear They Live Here

CSR: Can you give me your daughter’s measurements?

714 NE Hancock Street
Portland, Oregon

Posted on August 27, 2023
Customer Service, Customer Support, Oregon, Possible Sexual Harassment, Questions

She’s Gonna Earn Her Salary Today

Office worker on speakerphone: Hello.
Creepy customer: I was just sitting here eating some creamed corn and thinking about you so I thought that I would give you a call.
Office worker: Please hold and I will transfer you to my supervisor.

1st Avenue
Birmingham, Alabama

Posted on May 2, 2023
Alabama, Customer Service, Customer Support, Customers, Default, Employees, Meals and Snacks, On the phone, Sexuality, Weirdness

Okay, Now What Does This “Crittle” Key Do?

Caller: I can’t seem to log into my account.
CS rep: Have you entered your username and password into the login fields?
Caller: Yes, I have.
CS rep: Okay now press the enter key.
Caller: Where’s the enter key?

Earthlink Customer Service
San Jose, California

Posted on December 10, 2022
California, Customer Service, Customer Support, Default, Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, On the phone, Questions, Technology, Weirdness

Why's That, Consuela?

African-American CSR to team manager: Sir, this customer says that he wants to speak to someone else. He says he doesn't want to talk with a “nigger.”
Team manager: Ask him how he feels about talking to a gay Asian man.

Round Rock, Texas

Posted on September 24, 2022
Bosses, Customer Service, Customer Support, Feelings, General Idiocy, Race, Sexuality, Texas, Wishes

10AM Take Calls

Phone Rep: Sir, are you self-employed?…OK. And do you own the prison?

14700 Citicorp Drive
Hagerstown, Maryland

Posted on December 14, 2021
Customer Service, Customer Support, General Idiocy, Maryland, On the phone, Questions

Could You Slowly Narrate the Act Of Pulling It Out?

Caller, after lengthy pause: Sorry, I’m just unplugging the computer.
Tech support: That’s ok. I just pretend I’m getting one of those heavy breathing calls.

Memphis, Tennessee

Posted on December 6, 2021
Customer Service, Customer Support, Default, Dumb Customers, On the phone, Tech People, Technology, Tennessee

Eventually He Wore Them Down to the Point Where They Hired One

Support staff: Hello, how can I help you?
Caller: Can I speak to Nora?
Support staff: I'm sorry, there is no Nora in this office.
Caller: I called yesterday too.
Support staff: Yes, I remember. There was no Nora yesterday, either.

Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Shamim

Posted on November 30, 2020
Customer Support, Dumb Customers, General Idiocy, Human Resources, New York, Questions

Wouldn’t Stop Driving My Hot Rod Lincoln

Woman: I’d like to pay my cell phone bill, but it’s in my son’s name and I don’t have the password to see it online. So, I need to know how much it is.
Employee: You can’t pay it without his authorization. I can’t tell you how much it is.
Woman: He can’t authorize anything, he’s incarcerated.
Employee: Well, we’ll need a copy of the obituary or the death certificate.
Woman: What? He’s incarcerated! [pause] He’s in jail.
Employee: Oh.

Frederick, Maryland