Creepy waiter: The new girl’s pants sure are tight.
Mousy waitress: Yeah.
Creepy waiter: You can tell she shaves her biscuit. [Mousy waitress blinks, quickly puts on long apron, and walks away.]
Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Shatmandu
Sales guy #1: You know, this hand sanitizer stuff. Can you like.. wash with it?
Uncertain silence.
Sales guy #1: Like, wash your whole body?
Sales guy #2: Well, you’re going to need a bigger bottle.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Office chick #1: Hey, I like your shoes. Are they new?
Office chick #2: Thanks. I’ve had them for a while. I just haven’t been wearing them.
Office chick #1: They’re kind of low cut.
Office dude: Yeah, I can see a lot of arch. If this was the middle east, I’d totally be raping you right now.
Rancho Cordova, California
Overheard by: Good thing we’re in Cali.
Guy #1: Give me a break. I’ve been here since 6 AM!
Guy #2: Why would you do that to yourself?
Guy #1: Well, I’ve been a very bad boy, and I deserve a spanking. But that’s too expensive here in the city so instead I do this.
469 7th Avenue
New York, New York
Manager: So, what are your hobbies? What do you do for fun?
Newbie: I like to breed.
1700 Research Boulevard
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Septimus
Manager: Okay, bitches. At this beach party I want y’all to take care of business down South. I don’t want no hairy pussy to attack me while I’m tanning. [All female coworkers nod and walk away.]
Fulton Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: coworker
Teacher: You know, now that they are both 18, we can rape them, and it wouldn’t be considered statutory.
2 Stewart Place
Eastchester, New York
Overheard by: Johnnymunz
Sweaty, middle-aged man in running shorts: Hey,wait! Hey, wait! How old are you two?
Young business woman #1: Why?
Sweaty, middle-aged man in running shorts: I just wanted ask one of you out, but I can’t tell how old you are under your sunglasses.
Young business woman #2: Umm…no. We’re working.
Sweaty, middle-aged man: Oh, never mind.
2825 Eastlake Avenue East
Seattle, Washington
Disembodied voice coming from men's room: Aww, man! We do that every year! …usually with our teeth …and while he's still alive.
Austin, Texas
Cube rat #1: You’ve got to be shitting me… My grandma is trying to add me on MySpace.
Cube rat #2: That’s sort of sweet.
Cube rat #1: I’m her second friend. I didn’t know she knew what a computer was…
Cube rat #2: Dude, pop her comment cherry!
1932 Wildcat Canyon Road
San Diego, California
