Attorney #1: You know David*, the blind prosecutor downtown?
Attorney #2: He’s the one who always gets the young, hot assistants, right?
Attorney #3: I don’t care what anyone says, that son of a bitch can see.
300 West Main Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Visiting sales rep: Wow, that aquarium is really cool! Is it a lot of work?
Desk owner: Thanks. It’s not too hard once it’s set up for a while.
Visiting sales rep: I’ve never seen one with all those things with testicles in it before.
Desk owner: [Silence until sales rep obliviously boards elevator.]
75 Battery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: We didn’t buy her product.
Office Manager: You hired her, but you haven’t interviewed anyone else. Is she that qualified?
Suit: Actually no, she doesn’t have any experience working as an engineer.
Office Manager: Then why not interview some other people and see if you find someone better?
Suit: Because I don’t feel like interviewing. Besides, she has a really nice rack so I will at least have something good to look at.
1042 Hamilton Ct.
Menlo Park, California
Guy #1: She was hurt pretty bad in a car wreck a few years ago. She told me she hurt her knee, her back, and her brain.
Guy #2: Wait… So you have been pursuing a girl that has brain damage?
Guy #1: Hey, her vagina works.
571 South Floyd Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Feisty secretary: Man, could that man spit!
Newcastle, Delaware
Overheard by: What else could he do?
Banker: Yeah, he’s losin’ his eyesight…He can barely see now. He’s got that immaculate degeneration or whatever it’s called. But he still builds things with power tools. It’s pretty amazing…but kinda scary.
200 Nationwide Boulevard
Columbus, Ohio
Guy: That person I just talked to was so nice. He sounded so relaxed, and people from New York never sound like that.
Woman: He’s in Miami.
228 East 45th Street
New York, NY
Middle-aged female suit: Yeah, that place has pretty good sandwiches. Plus, there’s someone there I want to fuck.
Colonial Place Office Building
Arlington, Virginia
Female co-worker: My uncle just bought a condom in Brooklyn. It’s a real nice place.
Male co-worker: Really?
Female co-worker: Uh huh.
99 Church Street
New York, New York
Manager at meeting: Dusty is the only person cooperating here – he hasn’t said a thing!
Carrollton, Texas
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist