Female suit to vendor on phone: Oh my god, I've been calling you nonstop. I'm like a girl in a white dress at her wedding, and her groom isn't there, and she's been calling him for two hours. That's how I feel.
Union Square
New York City, New York
Overheard by: Julie
Peon: Did you see that chick last night? She was so hot. After the meeting, Eric* made a beeline for her.
Co-worker: Oh, yeah? She was hot?
Peon: Well, in the real world she was probably like a 7, but in the lawyer world, she’s like a 12.
West Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Julianna
Paralegal: I know there's Chinese food, and there's Japanese food, but is there Korean food?
Coworker: What? Of course there is!
Paralegal: What's the difference?
Coworker: Countries.
Port Washington, New York
Boss: Whoever invented cheese is a great American.
Coworker: Cheese wasn’t invented by an American.
Boss: Well, whoever did invent it should be made an American.
Austin, Texas
20-something female coworker: Ooooh! Dr. Seuss' Oh, the Places You'll Go! For real, ya'll, that's the best book ever written. Well…other than, like, the bible.
Charleston, South Carolina
Lauren*: So I went on this diet and I was eating cream of mushroom soup. And I thought, “wow, this is awfully thick. It's like pudding!” Then I realized you're supposed to put water in it.
Boss: Jesus Christ, Lauren*!
Lauren*: I know, right?
Boss: Why did we hire you again?
Fontana, California
Overheard by: Aeirlys
Kitchen grunt: You ever poop and suddenly find the world a better place?
Main Street
Greenwood, Indiana
Overheard by: RDC
Graphic designer looking at logo: Looks like a free hand job to me.
England
Overheard by: Johnny Bystander
Office lady: How can you drink that much Red Bull?
Computer nerd: I don’t know, you build up a tolerance.
Office lady: If I drank that much I’d be whacking off the walls.
Computer nerd: Umm, you’d do what?
117th St
Broomfield, Colorado
Overheard by: The other nerd
Animal-savvy office girl: Kangaroos are really mean.
Ordinary office girl, thoughtfully: I would be too, if someone was like hopping in and out of my stomach all day long.
Virginia
