Clerk: It actually hurts talking to you.
Receptionist: Hey, it hurts talking to you, sometimes. You use big words too much.
Clerk: Go away, I’ve hit my stupid quotient for the day.
Manager: You are so mean to her.
10 Miles South of Battle Mountain
Battle Mountain, Nevada
Marketing Director: So as we can see, it’s going to be effective with a capital A!
2815 NW 13th Street
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: The Evil Overlord
Manager: Did I hear someone trying to play matchmaker? Have you routed a memo for approval?
10155 102 Street
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: angel.girl
Owner #1: We need to get the freezer fixed.
Owner #2: Well, we can call [ColdCo].
Owner #1: [ColdCo] raped us last time!
Owner #2: True. But this way at least we know our rapist.
201 North 78th Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Manager: How dare you besmirch my good name and then saunter into my office as though nothing was said? Out, out infidel!
Writer: Oh…that’s just how I roll.
650 Technology Park
Lake Mary, Florida
Boss: Make sure you wear something nice like that skirt you had on last weekend.
DJ: But what if it’s cold outside this weekend?
Boss: Doesn’t matter…the Army guys will pull more recruits if you broadcast in something a little revealing. Plus they paid a lot of money for this remote.
1711 Ellis Drive
Valdosta, Georgia
Overheard by: Todd McClure
Manager: …can you work a couple extra hours? [Nick]’s not coming in again.
Cook #1: Sure. Why ain’t he coming in this time?
Manager: He’s in the hospital.
Cook #2: Hospital? You can’t get crack at a hospital.
Manager: Why does he keep going there, then?
33703 Woodward Avenue
Birmingham, Michigan
Employee #1 is fixing his hair in the bathroom mirror.
Employee #2: You look handsome today.
The toilet flushes and out comes the firm’s president.
President: Do you two want to be alone?
352 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Worker #1: So how is the database server test going?
Junior Manager: Great! That new machine is going like gang bangers!
Worker #2: He, he…”gang bangers”.
Junior Manager: Damn! You know what I meant.
Worker #1: Well…I guess they do work pretty hard.
13571 Commerce Parkway
Richmond, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Richard Shoehorn
Manager #1: So, do you have a hurricane there?
Manager #2: There is no hurricane in Atlanta at this time. It’s way over near the Yucatan.
Manager #1: Oh. So will you get any of it?
Manager #2: It’s like a thousand miles away. It’s a little too soon to tell how much it will affect us at this point.
Manager #3: I heard that Wilma is the last name they have on the list.
Manager #1: Ha, ha! What will they do if another one comes? Start over?
Manager #2: They will use Greek letters.
Manager #1: Ha, ha, ha!
Manager #2: That wasn’t a joke.
Manager #1: Oh. Ha, ha! So, the next one will be like Hurricane
“XVII” and then Hurricane “XVIII”? Ha, ha!
Manager #2: No. Those are Roman numerals.
5601 N. Lindero Canyon Road
Westlake Village, California
