Office Manager: You hired her, but you haven’t interviewed anyone else. Is she that qualified?
Suit: Actually no, she doesn’t have any experience working as an engineer.
Office Manager: Then why not interview some other people and see if you find someone better?
Suit: Because I don’t feel like interviewing. Besides, she has a really nice rack so I will at least have something good to look at.
1042 Hamilton Ct.
Menlo Park, California
Visiting client, waiting for elevator: You’re right. Putting shampoo and conditioner in the same bottle *is* more economical.
(jittery laughter)
Manager: It just makes sense, you know? Why have two when you can have just one?
Coworker, after client and manager get in elevator: That was the worst example of small talk I have ever heard.
Chicago, Illinois
Project manager: I mean, it’s really not even a bender unless it’s affecting your performance at work, now is it?
1620 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Boss to intern: The gym is a great place for networking. You tend to have a bit more pull with your colleagues when you see them naked in the locker room every morning.
Bellingham, Washington
Boss: Six months ago I was in pajamas with a bong!
W 1st Street
Los Angeles, California
Event planner: Don’t you think we should have background music?
Manager: That would be too expensive.
Event planner: What about just one person playing a harp?
Manager: Do you know someone?
Event planner: Yeah. I know a harpoonist.
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: Tim
Manager: It’s complicated to be me today.
Madison Avenue
New York City, New York
Manager to another: Just because you’re honest doesn’t mean you’re not a dick.
Washington, DC
Sous chef, passing behind inept intern: Behind you.
(intern backs into him)
Sous chef: Uh, hey…
Intern: I didn’t know which direction you were coming from!
Vermont
Overheard by: I know front from back
Program manager #1, in midst of cubical maze: Hey, where did all that bacon go?
Program manager #2, chanting happily: Bacon bacon bacon!
Utah
Overheard by: Snickering Intern
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist