Guy #1: [Scratches his chest.]Guy #2: You ok?
Guy #1: Yeah… My chest itches. I shaved it.
Guy #2: You shaved your chest?
Guy #1: Yeah.
Guy #2: Why? That’s not like shaving your balls… You shave your balls, right?
Guy #1: Oh yeah, I shave everything below my belly button.
Mahwah, New Jersey
Chick: I never understood the design of that thing, but I've had it in my mouth a thousand times.
Dude: Yeah, me too.
Dental Office
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: I've never had it in mouth
Male employee #1: I am going out on a date tonight with a 4'11″ Filipina. She runs triathlons.
Male employee #2: That's short. You know, her head will be at about your stomach.
Male employee #1, after long pause: I kind of want her to break me.
Sacramento, California
Coworker #1: I don't want Grant to see my notes.
Coworker #2: You did say “notes,” right? Not “nuts”?
Jenkintown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: It was a universal sentiment.
Desk monkey #1: I heard she and her boyfriend had Brazilian waxes done together. The man’s treatment is called the ‘free willy wax.’
Desk monkey #2: Oooh! Can you do that? I mean, you can’t wax a man’s balls!
Netherlands
Overheard by: Ouch!
Customer: I need the cold and flu meds that I have to be logged into a data base for.
Pharmacist: Well, can you tell me your symptoms?
Customer: Well, I'm sore and my head… it's like my whole head is just like… like someone sat on my face… but not in a good way.
(pharmacist gives deadpan face and goes to get meds)
Customer: You know, like a big fat person sat on my face… head. Do you take debit?
Mandeville, Louisiana
Overheard by: ShiftSuper2theSTARS
Data manager to minion: Body parts aren’t nearly as uncomfortable as homicide.
New York City, New York
Overheard by: AureateCalyx
Boss: What's up?
Underling: Trying to dig deep, man. Make something happen.
Boss: I do that every morning around 10… Make something big happen.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Could you be anymore Michael Scott?
Director: I feel so bad for Sarah!
Intern: Who?
Director: Sarah, from [xyz] Corp! She got fired!
Intern: Oh, that's terrible.
Director: I feel so bad! And she only has one arm!
New York City, New York
Guy #1: Have you ever thought about a vagina being like an “inverted” penis?
Guy #2: No.
Guy #1, continuing anyways: That way, if you were to “hit bottom” on a girl, that would mean that your penis was technically “bigger” than hers.
Guy #2: I want to kill myself for having been involved in this conversation.
Joplin, Missouri
