Coworker: Would you like some tomato sauce with that muffin?
Customer: (blank look)
Coworker: Ah, shit.
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: Alaska
Archive for the ‘Australia’ Category
…At Length, If Necessary
Manager: So Mike* is leaving.
Office peon #1: Will anyone notice? What does he do, anyway?
Office peon #2: He’s a fluffer.
Office peon #1: What?!
Office peon #2: What? He, y’know, fluffs out his job so it looks like he’s doing more than he is.
Manager to office peon #1: After the meeting, you explain.
Brisbane
Australia
Overheard by: EarleyDaysYet
Um, Card Game?
Head chef: You know what a cabbage is!
Other chef: (blank look)
Restaurant
Regional Queensland
Australia
There’s Really Very Little Difference Anymore
Magazine writer #1: So, it turned out the chick I took home from the party was a gymnast!
Staff members: Wow… That’s hot… Lucky git…
Magazine writer #2: Why, what’s so great about gymnasts?
Magazine writer #1: Um… Well, they’re really flexible…
Magazine writer #2: Oh, well, you should see the guy gymnasts, then!
Staff members: [Silence.]
35 – 51 Mitchell Street
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: and he’s OUT!
Skipped School to Watch Monty Python
Office radio just played ‘High Hopes,’ by Frank Sinatra.
Flaky girl: What’s a ‘rubber tree plant’? Is it, like, a plant made of rubber, or a plant you get rubber from?
Yuppie girl: It’s a Rubber. Tree. Plant. So, like, a plant-tree.
Flaky girl: What’s that?
Yuppie girl: Like, a baby tree.
Flaky girl: So, a baby tree is a plant?
Yuppy girl: Well, it’s like how a baby duck is a duckling. It’s not really a duck.
Flaky girl: So, a baby is not really a human?
Yuppie girl: So it would be easy for the ant to move it.
St. Kilda Road
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
Overheard by: I Dont Have Very High Hopes For These Two
Is Your Browser Chafing Again?
Tech illiterate office guy: Phil, how do you lubricate the internet?
Sydney
Australia
Now I’m Wondering Why My Wife Says That When She Looks at My Penis
Boss to underling: What does “lol” mean?
Underling: “Laughing out loud.“
Boss: Oh, good, I thought it was “lots of love.”
Breakwater
Australia
Pedophiles Are Into Shoes, Right?
Coworker #1: He’s not gay, he’s a pedophile.
Coworker #2: There’s a difference?
Hickson Road
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: H.
Despite What You Read in the Gay and Lesbian Section
Butch chick: I read The Lion and the Mouse when I was young! It’s a story about how the lion got a thorn in his paw and the mouse helped him remove it, and they became friends.
Normal chick: What a stupid lion, why didn’t he just eat the mouse?
Butch chick: It’s a story of morality for children! Help someone, be friendly!
Normal chick: So?
Butch chick: You don’t eat your friends!
Borders
Melbourne Central
Australia
Overheard by: Incognito
For One Thing, There’ll Be Repercolations in the Foreign Markets
Boss: So what would be the wider business implamications of this?
Canberra
Australia
Overheard by: glad she wasn’t in that meeting
