Overheard In The Office

Archive for the ‘Arizona’ Category

First They Came for the Trans-Fats and I Didn’t Speak up

Writer: ‘Portly’ sounds cute. Sounds like a nice, bald, fat man in a three-piece suit.
Designer: ‘Portly’ sounds like someone with grease stains on their shirt from dropping a piece of chicken.
Writer: That’s not ‘portly!’ That’s obese!
Designer: What’s the difference?
Writer: Obese is like those Subway ads before Jared lost his weight. When he was all wild-eyed and savage. Clothes all stretched out, nothing laundered, brimming with Big Macs and Crisco sandwhiches.
Designer: They should outlaw Crisco. Just straight out make it a crime.
Writer: Yeah.

16340 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona

I Can’t Compete with That!

Boss: No, trust me. The last thing you want to do is bring your spouse on a company Las Vegas trip. You’ll be divorced by the time you get home.
Salesman: Oh, really?
Boss: You know, because of all the drugs… and hookers.
Salesman: Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.

9633 South 48th Street
Phoenix, Arizona

9AM TGIF

Co-worker #1: What’s the matter?
Co-worker #2: I’m cold.
Co-worker #1: How can you be cold? It’s Friday.
Co-worker #2: …What?

1944 East Sky Harbor Circle
Phoenix, Arizona

Well You Did Plan the Whole Funeral

Peon #1: Oh my god, who wrote “Happy birthday!” in the “Loss of your father” sympathy card?
Peon #2: Clearly it was Lance. Who else is that stupid?
Lance: What did I do? Oh, it’s fine, let’s just use Wite-Out, he won’t know the difference.
Peon #2: Didn’t you read the card? Or look at it? It’s blue, how’s “white” out supposed to fix it?
Lance: What, it’s always someone’s birthday around here, since when do we do sympathy cards?
Peon #1: Since my grandma died and you wrote “Thanks for all your hard work.”

Arizona

Overheard by: Shocked in AZ

I Give Them a Year, Tops

Director of sales and marketing baby-talking and hugging his iBook: Some day you’re going to be a dinosaur and no one is going to like you! But not me! No, I love you, little iBook.

401 West Clarendon Avenue
Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: reservations monster