Cubicle mate on phone to husband: But it was purple last night!
Manhattan, New York
Archive for May, 2022
Are You Saying You Don’t Appreciate the Tutu?
Male program manager to another: Well, it’s better than imagining you in spandex!
Coworker in next cubicle: At least it’s not a thong.
Utah
Overheard by: Snickering Intern
Dude, You Have Got to Go Bury That Somewhere Before the Cops Come By Again!
Supervisor #1: I smell mothballs.
Supervisor #2: Probably just my old body.
1143 West 116th Street
Carmel, Indiana
Overheard by: Samantha
So He’s Missing All the Good Bagel Movies
Employee: My DVD drive doesn’t work anymore.
Boss: On your computer?
Tech Support: No, on his fucking toaster.
Orinda, California
Like, What Color Is It?
CSR: Okay, and what’s the address?
Customer: 123* A Street.
CSR: Okay, and which street is that on?
Customer: A Street.
CSR: I understand that you live on a street, sir, but I need to know which one.
1001 Roeder Avenue
Bellingham, Washington
Is He the Same One Whose Stomach Exploded from Pop Rocks and Soda?
Chubby secretary: So, my friend from college was roommates with this guy who went to high school with this girl whose brother was eaten by Jeffrey Dahmer!
Friend: Oh my god! You could have been killed!
Tampa, Florida
And Put It in Soup Form.
Woman ordering: Guess what I want today!
Sandwich guy: The usual?
Woman ordering, completely seriously: Yeah, except I’m going to change a few things up. Like…the bread and the stuff on it, ya know?
Cafeteria
Horsham, Pennsylvania
Um, All I Asked Was, “What’s My Total?”
50-year-old woman cashier to customer: … And then I had to chase them with my pants down, and I hadn’t even gotten the chance to wipe yet!
17111 Haggerty Road
Northville, Michigan
And She Was Rockin’ the Raccoon Eye Makeup
Male worker: She’s off, her mother just died.
Female worker: Yeah, her hair looked great today.
Deli
New Jersey
Overheard by: waiting in line
Had To–Soiled Myself
Minister: At least I know where I’m going when I die… Heaven.
Drunk worker: Yeah, I’m going there too.
Minister: You gotta change first.
Drunk worker: I know, I just did…
Jacksonville, Florida
Overheard by: Derrick McClure
