Archive for February, 2022

Hey, in England They Have a Whole Day Devoted to Boxes.

Receptionist: Would you like to keep the box it came in?
Admin: Hmm… No, it’s okay, thanks.
Receptionist: That box was really cool because it just folds down. You don’t have to cut any tape off because it doesn’t need tape.
Admin: Damn! Missed out on a good one.
Receptionist: It’s still here!
Admin: I think I have too many. But how often do you come across a really great box?
Receptionist: What have our lives come to?

Sacramento, California

Overheard by: cardboard cut

A Career in Bioethics Is Waiting for You!

Auto salesman: When are you due?
Young woman: Two weeks. I can’t wait for this to be over.
Auto salesman: This is just the beginning! The baby is much more work.
Young woman: No, I mean, I can’t wait to not be such a fatass. I hate fat people.
Auto salesman: Uh-huh.
Young woman: Can you imagine how many people get abortions because they don’t want to be fat?
Auto salesman, after long pause: I can honestly say that no, I cannot imagine that.

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Purely horrified

Three’s Normal, Right?

Well-dressed 30-something woman: So my son was like: “Mom! There’s this ball in my privates and it’s moving around!” So I told him to talk to his father because I want nothing to do with this conversion. So he says: “Dad! There’s this ball in my privates and it’s moving around!” and my husband goes: “Yeah -’cause those are your balls. Women have boobs and men have balls and those are your balls! End of story.“
Slightly horrified 20-something woman: Don’t you think that will ultimately confuse him?
30-something woman: I know, right?! Anyway, it was so funny… [Laughs] Balls!

Providence, Rhode Island