Archive for February, 2022

The Next Thing You Know, Old Jed’s a Millionaire

Accounting manager on phone to accountant: I will need you to watch The Beverly Hillbillies season 1 finale, and submit full character synopsis by COB… Yes, it’s a priority. Thank you.

Dallas, Texas


1PM Customer Visit

Customer: I don’t understand why you can’t keep up with production.
Program manager: You aren’t following the rules. You are running twice the daily quoted volumes.
Customer: But we are still under the yearly volumes. You just need to plan better.
Program manager: I can’t just shit capacity out of my ass!

5540 Parque Industrial
Ciudad Juarez, Mexico 

The Government’s Alternative to Medicare

Middle-aged woman #1: I didn’t get any vacation time this year because I was so busy with my mother.
Middle-aged woman #2: How is your mother doing? Does she have anyone to talk to? Like friends or anyone?
Middle-aged woman #1: Well, yes, but the problem is that all the 85-year-old men want is phone sex.
20-something girl: Well, there’s something to look forward to.

Midtown Building
New York City, New York