Loud man complaining to librarian: Can you turn the heat up or the air conditioning down? It’s too cold in here. It might be fine for someone with type o blood, but I’m freezing!
Public Library
La Jolla, California
Archive for October, 2021
No, No, Wait — a Parking Meter!
Biology teacher: So, in conclusion, diffusion is ions separating from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration.
15-year-old blonde: So it’s like an orange, right?
High school
Cherry Hill, New Jersey
Overheard by: jess
Colorado: It’s Out of This World (Allegedly)
Worker #1: Oh, didn’t I tell you I’m moving to Colorado?
Worker #2: Really? When?
Worker #1: I leave next week, but I decided I would move to Colorado when I was six. That’s when I heard John Denver sing “Rocky Mountain High.“
Worker #2: That’s why you’re moving to Colorado?
Worker #1: Well, and because it’s so hot here because of all the global warming going on. You know, they don’t have that in Colorado.
Fairfield County, Connecticut
Overheard by: she actually is moving
2PM All Hands Meeting at Downtown Branch
HR: Okay [Jen], here is your six month review. You are doing excellent work, we couldn’t be happier, you adapt especially well to change and keep this office running like a tight ship. We have put you in for a substantial raise.
VP: We have come to the decision that we will be closing this office. Everyone’s last day of work will be December 31st–
HR: –and here are your severance packages.
238 Bedford Street
Lexington, Massachusetts
…When I Was Going for Clams Casino
Hot office chick: I look like I smell like fish sticks.
LaGrange, Georgia
Overheard by: Hallway Skank Monitor
Because Their Secretary Told Me They’re Missing Page 47 over There
Boss: I’ve got part of the Kama Sutra on my wall.
Employee: Do we need to talk to H.R.?
175 South 3rd Street
Columbus, Ohio
The First One’s Free
Dude: I don’t know — I just don’t trust that North Korea isn’t going to keep testing those narcotic bombs.
9070 Junction Drive
Annapolis Junction, Maryland
My Secretary’s All, “That Isn’t My Job, Sir!”
College director in office: I know, it’s so sad. Now when I wake up there’s nobody licking my face.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: Haffy
4PM Monitor Calls
CSR on phone: Excuse me, I’m not a woman I am a man and you are being very nasty…I’m not yelling at you; do you want me to yell at you?
1650 Broadway
New York, NY
It’ll Be Giving Me Feedback This Afternoon
Cube dweller #1: I just want to make sure we are communicating on this project.
Cube dweller #2: Yeah, we’re communicating. [Yells over cubicles] Hey, Roy*, are we communicating?
Roy: Uh, I’m communicating with my sandwich.
Vienna, Virginia
Overheard by: The Communicator
