Archive for April, 2021

I Can Now Imagine Nothing Else

Coworker #1: I wasn’t that drunk by that point. I mean, I was sober enough to realize that they were branding each other’s asses with Christmas cookie cutters.
Boss: Sure…
Coworker #1: No, legit. Sticking the cookie cutters in the fire and branding each other’s asses.
Coworker #2: Can you imagine shacking up with someone with an inverted Christmas pointing right to your pooper?

Hicksville, New York

Overheard by: Traumatized

Different Day, Same Dog

if obama wins, then I will adopt a dog. If romney wins, then I will eat a dog.

Washington, DC