Archive for March, 2021

Yes! Another Big Win for Strategic Incompetence!

Sales manager: Can you ship this to Kuwait for me or should I fill everything out beforehand?
Mail room guy: Do you need it shipped overseas?
Sales manager: Yes, to Kuwait.
Mail room guy: Is that overseas?
Sales manager: It’s in the Middle East!
Mail room guy: East Coast?
Sales manager: No, the Middle East! It’s international.
Mail room guy: The East Coast is not international.
Sales manager: I’ll just do it myself.

Louisville, Kentucky

Beyond a Reasonable Doubt

Attorney: Oh, god, not her. She is an insufferable hag. Tell her I’m not in the office.
Temp on phone: I’m sorry, ma’am, he’s out of the office… Well, I apologize, but he’s not here right now… Yes, I’m aware that lying to another attorney is unethical… Ma’am, you did not hear his voice in the background… No, I’m telling you, he’s not here… Well, how do you know that was his voice? Couldn’t it have been an intern or another attorney? … Well if it sounded like him, who’s to say his son isn’t visiting today and that’s whose voice you heard? Yes, I’ll give him the message. Thank you.
Attorney: So… Have you considered law school?

Long Island law firm
Long Island, New York

11AM EOY Staff Meeting

Manager: We’re all sharks. Remember, guys.
Employee: Huh? Sharks?
Manager: Yeah, we’re all like sharks. Sharks have to keep moving their whole life or they’ll die. They never stop moving. So keep moving, guys! We’re sharks!
Employee: So basically what you’re saying is that if we stop moving, you’ll kill us all?

208 Chain Lake Drive
Halifax, Nova Scotia