Receptionist: Every time I hear that phone, it’s ringing!
3424 Peachtree Road NE
Atlanta, Georgia
Archive for January, 2021
Things Heat Up a Couple of Degrees in Wisconsin, Then Cool Off
Copywriter: So David*, did you thank your wife for the candy she gave you yesterday?
David: In more ways than one.
Proofreader: A simple “yes” would have been sufficient.
Wausau, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Why am I the one blushing?
Just Relax and Let It Happen
Manager to another: You know, sometimes you are going to just walk out to your car and it will be covered entirely in vaseline.
Dayton, Ohio
Thanks to Compressed-World Technology
Receptionist #1: I can’t believe I’ll be in England next week. I think we might drive to Australia, too — they have better beaches.
Receptionist #2: Is that far?
Receptionist #1: No, I think it’s a two-hour drive from here.
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Overheard by: Not Even Kidding
Well, It’s Probably Okay If You Just Look
Coworker #2 Hey, Gary*, you’re using your pants as a towel nowadays?
Coworker #1: Stop staring at my ass, Mike.*
Lyndale Avenue South
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Good to Have a Plan
Store clerk to another: Next year I’m going to be totally not pregnant and I’m going to get wasted!
Richland, Missouri
Overheard by: Mac
Probably Time to Make a Fresh Pot of Coffee
Drone #1: It’s a different texture.
Drone #2: It’s hard. I’ll suck.
Austin, Texas
Well, It’s Actually Only a Problem for the Baby
Repair tech: My customer just called in and told me that his trans-vaginal probe is vibrating.
Cube dweller: And that’s a problem because…?
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
2PM Facilities Issues
HR assistant: So, Paul*, when are you gonna take a look at my thing? I’m bursting at the seams, right?
Paul the safety director: [laughing] I can’t look now — and will never look at your thing.
HR assistant: But, dang it! I need some space! Look at how my file cabinets are overflowing!!
Paul: HR isn’t the only department that needs filing space!
HR assistant: [sighs] I just need someone to look and to care!
4730 South Fort Apache
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Corporate Paralegal
4PM Call Client (Again!)
Co-worker #1: Are you okay?
Co-worker #2: I’m okay. But if I could slap people through the phone, others wouldn’t be okay.
515 North State Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Peter Gibbons
