Pregnant woman in meeting: This is Kate, she’ll be taking over for me, since I’ll be leaving in March to reproduce.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Really?
Archive for 2020
Victor’s Secret
Female coworker: I woke up today and couldn’t find my panties.
Male coworker: So, did you find them finally?
Female coworker: No. And my husband disappeared…
Law office
New York, New York
Overheard by: julllully
Does It Matter That It’s a Black Car?
Dispatch: Got a report of a small black car going very fast.
Officer: Any other description besides “small black car”?
Dispatch: It’s going very fast.
Officer: Thanks… Over.
Police Scanner
Oregon
Overheard by: Mike
Remember When I Said to Come to Me If You Ever Had a Problem…?
Office drone: I’m trying to watch the We Bought a Zoo trailer and they keep showing the Contagion trailer. What the fuck?
Stamford, Connecticut
Cue Ominous Background Music
Coworker #1: Dude, let’s go to the strip club next week for lunch.
Coworker #2: Hmmm, well… maybe, but I’m supposed to be the one in charge next week.
Coworker #1: Exactly.
Meridian, Indianapolis
10AM Project Meeting
Worker #1: Boy, you look tired…
Project Manager: Yeah, it’s been hectic. I need some of that geico balboa stuff.
Worker #1: Uh, ginko bilboa?
Project Manager: That’s what I said.
Worker #1: No, you said “geico balboa”.
Project Manager: What’s the difference?
Worker #1: Well, Geico is an insurance company, and Balboa is Rocky the boxer’s–as in the movie–last name.
Project Manager: Ha! I wonder if he gets a hard time for that.
Worker #1: He’s not a real person. Besides, I think what you meant was you needed some ginseng. Do you know what ginko bilboa is for?
Worker #2: Okay, seriously, how long is this meeting going to be?
6700 Hollister Road
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Damien Sebastiani
2PM Client Meeting
Attorney: I heard [the client] was whiny.
Client in waiting room: I’m whiny because I’m sick and this is the first time I’ve left the house.
Attorney: Oh shit.
110 N. Washington Street
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Joan
But They Still Look 17, and That Makes All the Difference
Teacher: You know, now that they are both 18, we can rape them, and it wouldn’t be considered statutory.
2 Stewart Place
Eastchester, New York
Overheard by: Johnnymunz
Printer: Tray 1 Empty, Add Paper
Coworker calling help desk: Hey, man this is Vinnie up on 5, the printer’s broken.
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: Starr
2PM Find New Intern
Secretary #1: That was a funny email you sent earlier; I couldn’t
stop cracking up.
Secretary #2: Hey, I just try to make you all laugh.
Intern: For you to make them laugh all they have to do is look at
your face.
28 State Street
Boston, Massachusetts
