Employee: I’ve been on e‑mail since 5 AM, and all I see is incomptitude.
550 South Hope Street
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: hearing it in stereo
Employee: I’ve been on e‑mail since 5 AM, and all I see is incomptitude.
550 South Hope Street
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: hearing it in stereo
HR girl: Have you looked at that guy’s resume?
HR guy: Yeah, but I’m a little concerned about his spermatic work history.
HR girl: … Sporadic?
HR guy: Yeah. My bad.
Terrell, Texas
Overheard by: HR girl 2
Junior art director: Hey, what month is eleven?
Chicago, Illinois
Office worker: Hey, do you have a yard stick?
Supervisor: No, but I have a riding crop.
Human Services Building, Frances Avenue
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Products VP: Everyone who makes this crap is just as fucked as we are.
Finance VP: If only no one put this in their mouths…
Elmsford, New York
Overheard by: Bored Beyond Belief
Sweaty, middle-aged man in running shorts: Hey,wait! Hey, wait! How old are you two?
Young business woman #1: Why?
Sweaty, middle-aged man in running shorts: I just wanted ask one of you out, but I can’t tell how old you are under your sunglasses.
Young business woman #2: Umm…no. We’re working.
Sweaty, middle-aged man: Oh, never mind.
2825 Eastlake Avenue East
Seattle, Washington
Co-worker: Does the whole building smell like urine? Or is it just my cube?
1601 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
50-something admin talking about a gay couple she knew in the past: Back then there was an astigmatism associated with it.
Medical Center
Houston, Texas
Overheard by: Wow am I glad my last day is in a week.
Office drone to VP: Hey Bob*, Bill* asked me to ask you to e‑mail to me the e‑mail that he e‑mailed to you that you made changes to, and then e‑mailed back to him because he can’t e‑mail it to me, and he wants me to e‑mail it to Mary* from his e‑mail address, so that it looks like Bill* e‑mailed Mary* directly from his e‑mail instead of my e‑mail. Okay?
VP: Are you effin kidding me?
Durango, Colorado
Speakerphone: So, we’re filling out nametags for next week’s meeting. What’s Randy’s title?
Receptionist: Well, he’s The Boss.
Speakerphone: Okay, but what’s his title?
Receptionist: “The Boss”. He’s The Boss.
Speakerphone: All right, he’s your boss, but what’s his title?
Receptionist: He’s “The Boss”!
Speakerphone: Oh, well then…um, okay that’s great. Thanks for your help.
35555 Garfield Road
Clinton Township, Michigan
Overheard by: Stephanie Saffold
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist